The Menace
by LaliLali
Summary: <html><head></head>Maya Ukitake is the bane of Captain Kuchiki's existence. Ever since she entered the Gotei 13, she's driven him insane with  her involvement with the Shinigami Women's Association. When she offers to get them off his back, he has no choice but to listen.</html>
1. Interrupted Paperwork

A/N: This is an idea I had after writing "The promise". It takes place about 10 years after Jushiro's wedding to Ryo. If you haven't read the story, I highly recommend you do. Not only am I extremely proud of my first fanfiction, but I have been told it's highly entertaining. Maya is the daughter of Jushiro and Ryo, and one of my few O.C. Actually, I think she was the only one, with the exception of old man Natsume. In case you are cringing, thinking of all the Mary-sue-ish stories out there, I promise you this will not be in the least Marysue-ish. At least, I'll try. She's a character I've developed with care, and is quite quirky in her own way. You probably won't HAVE to read the story leading up to this, but I highly recommend it. I'd like to thank Amber, Josey, Starlight, Fry-dei-luv, and Melina amongst many others who have given me some ideas, and some input into what they would like to see! Also, I'd like to thank all of you who have chosen to read "the Promise", even if you didn't have a chance to leave reviews and what not. Your patronage is valued nonetheless, and I thank all of you for stopping by !

Cheers,

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo, here's to hoping this story will interest you enough to lend me bleach for the weekend! As always, until you give in, Bleach is yours, and Maya is mine.

Interrupted Paperwork

"Byakuyaaaaaaaaaaa!" Maya yelled excitedly, coming in through the window.

"It's captain Kuchiki, Ukitake-san. I thought I made that clear to you." Byakuya answered calmly, not bothering to look up from the papers he was revising in his desk, although a slight twitch in his eye betrayed the calmness he feigned.

"Oh, Byakuya, don't be such a spoilsport. I've known you since forever!" she exclaimed happily, coming closer to sit on top of his desk cross-legged, giving him her most charming smile.

"You haven't lived long enough to claim to know me that long, ma'am." he told her coldly, finally looking up to meet her eyes. He cast her a disapproving glance at the sight of her sitting on his desk, but continued speaking calmly nonetheless,"Now, what can I do for you today?" he asked, going back to look over the paperwork in his hands.

"Oh. Nothing much... I was just...passing by." she told him with a smile, grabbing the paper in his hands to look it over herself. Another twitch appeared in the corner of one eye, but he merely sighed and looked at her, not for once betraying how much the young woman disturbed him.

"Is this something to do with the SWA? I thought I made it clear to you ..."ladies"...that I have no wish to further involve myself in your "business"" he continued calmly, taking the paper from her hands, and placing it aside, far enough away from her to reach. He gave her another one of his cold, forbidding looks, hoping it would be enough to send her on her way. Unfortunately she seemed just as immune as the devil Yachiru to his frosty demeanor, continuing on as if he hadn't just tried to kill her with his stare.

"Why do you always think the worst of us, Bya-chan?" she asked sweetly, giving him a lopsided smile."I'd never, ever, ever, eveeeer..." one of his eyebrows came up, a sure sign that his patience was at a breaking point."Ever, do something to harm you. Intentionally. The whole incident with the swans and that chocolate cake...that was an accident, you know." she told him, waving her arms wildly to signify how much in the past the whole thing was, discounting it as nonsense.

"Don't remind me." he said firmly, not wishing to remember again that horrible event. He still could not stand the sight of chocolate to this day. And swans made him sneeze uncontrollably since that day. Even pictures of swans.

She frowned becomingly, pouting prettily at him, "Don't tell me you're still angry about the fireworks? How were we supposed to know they would go off prematurely?" she whined, as if completely justified in her actions. He could swear the hairs in his arms were standing up, a slight tremor coursing through his body at the memory.

"You stored them by the fireplace. In the room next to my sleeping quarters." he said slowly, hoping to keep his sanity long enough as to not strangle the menace in front of him.

"Oh,"she said weakly, a small frown marring her features,"I guess we should have thought about that. Still, it's not like you got hurt, or anything. Sorry they woke you up in the middle of the night. We were planning a surprise for you... and I guess it was a surprise in a way, right?" she said with an awkward chuckle, wincing.

"Three rooms were burnt down before we managed to control the fire. Including my room." he answered frostily.

"Oh, but you're so rich, you barely noticed." she said with a wink, as if she had merely broken a china piece, not managed to burn down half a building.

He sighed, at a loss on how to explain the severity of her actions to the clueless girl. He gave up, not wanting to waste precious time, or his breath on the lunatic standing in front of him. " I see no reason to continue this conversation. What reason do you have for coming here today, Maya-san?" he asked a bit impatiently, knowing he would not get rid of her unless she finished her business with him. Unlike Yachiru, she could not be distracted anymore with candy, ever since her 18th birthday anyway. Nowdays, the only way to get rid of the young woman was to deal immediately with the problem at hand, and solve it as swiftly as possible. He had learned it the hard way, having to put up with her antics for years now, ever since she took a liking to him when she arrived in Sereitei to join the thirteenth squad. Why, he had no idea. He always made sure to treat her as coldly as possible, and spend as little time as he could in her presence.

"Uhm... well..." she mumbled slowly, dragging the words, twiddling her thumbs in a un-Maya-like bout of shyness.

He lifted one eyebrow in her direction, losing his tenuous hold on his patience."I'm a busy man, Maya-san. If you have nothing else to say, please, allow me to go back to my duties." he said firmly, shooing her with one hand before going back to the massive pile of paperwork that awaited him.

"I need a date!" she said loudly, in a rush.

"Excuse-me?"

"Uhm...I need a date for the first annual SWA ball. And all the other guys are taken, or are too scared of my dad to ask me out." she explained weakly, not meeting his eyes.

"I don't see why. Captain Ukitake is a perfectly reasonable man." he said a bit more calmly, now that the reason behind her visit was explained.

"Not when it comes to me, he's not." he pouted, crossing her arms under her breasts.

"I see. So, how can I help you find a date?" he asked. Maybe he could convince one of his officers to take her out, if he offered enough money. Although, to go out with Maya, a bit more than money would be necessary. Maybe a promotion, and some vacation time, he contemplated. Although the girl was breathtaking, most men gave her a wide berth, not only because of her father, but because she was a handful.

"Well, I was hoping...you would consent to be my date." she asked him shyly, giving him a sweet smile, blinking her eyes at him.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"If you would just-" she tried again, only to be cut off.

"No."

"Now that I-" she started.

"Look up the definition of the word in the dictionary, Maya-san. It will clarify the meaning of the word for you." he said slowly, annoyed but trying to maintain a level-headed facade.

"But I can pay you!" she shouted, pleading.

"I do not...accept...compensation for services rendered. And it's out of the question." he said brusquely, offended she would even think to offer monetary compensation in return for a date. As if he would lower himself to such extremes.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaa..." she whined.

He snapped, bringing his pen down to slam against the table."Maya-san, if there's nothing else I can do for you today?" he asked testily, needing to get rid of the girl before he committed some unpardonable sin, such as pulling his zanpaktou on her.

"Can you at least hear me out before throwing me out?" she pleaded, giving him another one of her pretty pouts.

"What could you possibly offer that I cannot purchase on my own? You overestimate your abilities. Please leave." he said dismissively, hoping it would be enough to send her on her way. It had the opposite effect, her face brightening up, a scary sight to Byakuya, who was clearly hoping this would have been the end of his torture at the hands of the unbalanced creature.

"What if I told you I could get the SWA to leave you alone...?" she offered slyly, a "cat that ate the canary" smile coming to illuminate her pretty features.

He paused."...I'm listening."

**End of chapter one. Oh, this will be a challenge for me. Not only is Byakuya a hard one to read, he's also a brat at times. I hope I can somehow keep this story going. Lemme know what you guys think. All feedback is good feedback, even if it is constructive criticism. So leave a message, and let me know what you think of this idea! **


	2. Nocturnal Walk

A/N: Yeay for Frei and Melina for reviewing right away ! :) I hope you girls keep checking up on my story ! Anybody else that has had a chance to read up, I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I'll try to do my best to entertain, while providing some much needed romance in Byakuya's life, although probably at the cost of his sanity LOL !

As a warning, most of my stories eventually become M because I love putting my characters in tasteful, yet supersexyhot scenes. If you are not a fan of "shameless" smut, i'm warning you ahead of time that you might wanna skip a few scenes. However, I will try to alert you ahead of time so you can save your innocent eyes from my depravity. For those who are definite fans of smexy...I promise we will eventually get there, so be patient. For now, enjoy the insanity that is Maya, and her antics.

Disclaimer: Here's a shiny, brand new penny, Tite Kubo. If you want it, gimme Bleach ! Oooo...shiny. I bet you're interested!

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><p><span>Nocturnal Walk<span>

Byakuya found himself thinking about the events of the day during his usual night time walk of the Kuchiki grounds. He had been clearly upset for the remainder of the day, ever since the brat's visit, snapping even at poor Rukia for being late for dinner, and being curt with his servants, not that they would have complained, used to his moods as they were. The chief reason for his upset today, was as usual, the SWA, and one of their minions, this time the ever-hyper, disaster prone Maya. As always, the brat had managed to convince him to do something completely against his wishes. He was internally fuming at finding himself in a position where he could not deny her wishes, the brat not for a minute taking into consideration his rank, nobility, or even the simple fact that her very existence, as well as her unnerving, relentless habit of showing up unannounced in his house and office offended him to his very core. The situation was unpardonable, and just thinking about it made his eye twitch again, the delicate muscles and nerves around his eyes feeling much abused over the years with all the stress the slight devil had inflicted on him, ever since she had come into his life. At least he had the comfort of thinking that she may just accomplish the deed she had promised him in return, which was to try and convince the women of the SWA to change their regular meeting place to a better location, chiefly, Ugendo state, her father's personal state.

Still, he still couldn't believe he had somehow been roped into taking that...menace...to the SWA's annual ball. Not only were they planning to once again host the odious event in his manor, without his permission of course, but ever since they started the tradition, he had little peace from the cackle of single women from Sereitei. Apparently, the consensus was that since the ball was held at his manor every year, it must mean he was actively looking for another wife, on the market, as it were. As if. Not only had Hisana's death made him see the foolishness of marriage, it had made him completely uninterested in having a romantic relationship with any women, preferring instead to focus on his duties as head of the Kuchiki household, and as a captain of the Gotei 13. Having loved and lost, he now wanted nothing more than distance from any woman that could possibly be a threat to his now peaceful life. It did not however, stop women from throwing themselves on his path, finding diverse excuses to visit him in his home and office, or stopping him whenever he walked throughout Sereitei, claiming "sprained" ankles, or fainting spells. And he blamed the SWA solely for the increase in damsels in distress that seemed to hunt him down at all hours, and whose numbers increased exponentially every year after the annual ball.

Thankfully, it would seem that Maya did not see him that way. Whatever her reasons were for forcing him to attend the ball with her, they were unlikely to be romantic in nature. After all, she was not only twenty-two, a veritable child in comparison to his older than a century self, she happened to treat him normally, or at least as normally as her everyday behaviour could be described, considering how utterly... un-lady-like she was, in view of her noble heritage. Small consolation, he thought darkly, imagining the hours he would have to spend in the deranged sprite's company. At least it would keep away the flock of women that assaulted him during these events, or at least the majority, seeing him already in attendance with a woman. But of all women, why did it have to be her? Sure, she was beautiful, in an elfin sort of way. She had beautiful green eyes, and now long, shiny black hair that fell in a straight curtain all the way to her waist. He remembered how it once had been as short as a boy's when she was nothing but a bratty little kid who had just then joined the gotei 13 as an officer for the 13th squad. Back then, he had briefly contemplated offering her a seated position in his squad when he had heard of her exceptional test results, but chose against it immediately after he reviewed her school files. According to her records, she had landed in all kinds of trouble in her short stay with the Academy, and had once almost been expelled even, for severely injuring a 6th year student after she attacked him. Choosing to keep the peace in his own squad, and his own peace of mind, he had passed over the opportunity to recruit her, figuring he already had enough on his plate, having to train a new lieutenant after Renji had been promoted to captain, and keeping an eye on his adoptive sister Rukia, who had been promoted to lieutenant of the 13th shortly after, when Ukitake promoted her against his uttermost, express wishes. The last thing he had needed back then was a rebellious, precocious child causing havoc among his ranks, and he let the other captains have a go at recruiting her. However, it had worked out perfectly well for her in the end, he reasoned, with her landing in her own father's squad, although at the time it would seem that neither had known of their family ties.

Returning his thoughts to the present, and the distasteful task of escorting her to the event, he muttered a series of less than polite words under his breath, something he would never have done if he'd been in the company of anyone, glad he had the chance to do so now, away from the demands of his clan and his job. He sighed, feeling tired and frustrated, resting his head against the trunk of one of the many trees that inhabited his garden, taking the time to close his eyes briefly, in the hopes somehow he would find some inner strength to not only survive the night with his faculties intact, but also refrain from causing bodily injury to the girl, who was bound to drive him insane by the end of the night.

Bemusedly, he wondered if Central 46 would, in fact, even bother to convict him, if they had to spend even one full day in her company. Letting out an amused smile, he moved on, feeling in much lighter spirits, thanks to the image that came to his mind, that of Maya chasing a bunch of crotchety members of the chamber around for the day, until one of them threw her in the Maggot's nest.

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><p><strong>So, was Byakuya too OOC? I hope not. I tried to get in his head, but I'm not too confident that he stayed in character. What did you think? Leave me a note to let me know, please. All reviews are welcome, even anonymous ones if you're feeling a little "flamish" today. <strong>


	3. Treats at the 10th  Girl talk

A/N: Oh, I just realized that I managed to misspell Yoruichi like, a billion gazillion times while writing "the promise". How come no one even mentioned this? Also, Joseey, your reviews are hilarious! I wish you'd leave a signed review so I could answer them properly! Still, I'd just like to let you know I love them, and they always make me laugh! I dare you to make it even bigger! Everybody else, thanks as always for your support ! On completely unrelated news, I went to the mall today to buy 1 tiny little thing, and came back with 3 books, 4 make-up thingies, and a perfume. I don't know what happened, but I think I might be too busy reading to update as quickly as I usually do. Sorry in advance!Also, here's the obligatory shout out to LboogieV: thanks for reading and supporting me hamster, you make me smile. Now go back to the Promise and read it, review it, or I keeel you.

Disclaimer : Tite Kubo, this is your final warning. Surrender Bleach, or I'll release the fury of 1 million bunnies on your head! HAH!

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><p><span>Treats at the 10th -girl talk<span>

"I can't believe he caved." Rangiku commented, lounging on the sofa of the 10th squad's captain's office.

"And I can't believe you even doubted me!" Maya answered with a chuckle, grabbing another chocolate covered treat from the silver tray that sat on the table beside them.

"Well...he is a frosty little bugger, after all. I still don't see why you'd want to go to the ball with him, of all people." she commented, rolling her eyes at Maya, while at the same time stuffing another chocolate in her mouth.

" I already explained this to you, Rangiku! I can't go to the ball without a date, after what that stupid girl said about me being a man repellant! The very nerve! So what if I haven't gone on a lot of dates? Or any date, ever since the whole fiasco with that malfunctioning cellphone, and the rabbits. Who could have known THAT would have happened? I mean, it's not like I did it on purpose!" Maya complained, shrugging her shoulders in a "it wasn't me" kind of way.

"Maya... you somehow got every bunny on a 10 kilometre radius to not only appear, but attack your date. The guy is still in therapy! Last I heard, he had another breakdown during Easter!" Rangiku retorted.

"Well, that wasn't my fault. Nemu is the one that hooked me up with the cellphone. How was I to know it would malfunction and start sending weird vibes? And you know what, serves him right! He made me pay for dinner, claiming that he "forgot" his wallet. And what kind of warrior is scared of fluffy bunnies, anyway?" she continued, needing to defend herself for her disaster of a date, which had caused every other man in Sereitei to be too scared to ask her out, lest they get attacked by a pack of wild animals. Or her dad.

"Fine, whatever." Rangiku waived her hand, knowing it was pointless to argue the fact, " But I still don't understand why you had to ask Captain Kuchiki, of all people. I could swear he farts icicles, he's so cold. Whatever do you see in that man?" she asked with a frown, still stupefied that Byakuya had indeed, agreed to escort her.

"Who else is there? No one other than a captain would dare ask me out after what my Dad did to that fourth seat from the 7th. I mean, I could have totally managed his grabby hands myself, I'll have you know. But apparently my dad has a jealous streak when it comes to me and mom, and just had to blast the guy on the spot. Who knew, he's otherwise the sweetest, most charming guy in the world." she said with another shrug, as if that was enough explanation.

"But that still left you with plenty of choice... well, there's Kira..." Rangiku offered,

"I'd rather slit my wrists, thank you. The guy has a dark cloud following him around whenever he goes. Plus, I think he has a thing for Momo." she waived away, shuddering at the thought of spending time with the depressing blond.

"What about Renji? He's so much fun, always good for a laugh... there's nothing depressing about him!" Rangiku declared, thinking she had found the solution.

"He is goo-goo over Rukia. And I think she likes him too. Even if that weren't the case, he's way to immature!" she rebutted, although she did have a tiny crush on the tattooed red-head.

"Look who's talking..." Rungiku muttered under her breath, "Okay...what about Kenpachi? He's kind of ...interesting, if one likes the Punk Rocker look he's got going." Rangiku attempted, not convinced of it herself, but still, there's taste for everything.

"Uh, he'd probably want to fight me to the death by the end of the date? No thanks, I rather keep my head. That man has a one-track mind! I couldn't go out with someone that would leave me behind the very second he found a willing sparring partner!" Maya reasoned.

"Okay, I'll give you that!" Rangiku agreed, knowing it had been a small chance anyway, "Hisagi?"

"Other than the fact that he's on and off with Isane, whom I happen to adore? Uhm, I think he might be a freak, with that 69 on his face. I don't wanna date a pervert!" Maya said with a frown, surprised Rangiku would even mention the guy.

"That's not what that means, silly!" Rangiku said, while stuffing another chocolate in her mouth, and licking her fingers, "How about Mayuri? I hear he's kind of cute under all that face paint."

"I rather not be the bride of Frankenstein, thank you very much." Maya said dryly.

It made Rangiku giggle, but she immediately moved on to the next victim, err, candidate, "What about my adorable Taicho? He's single, you know! And you can't argue he's too short, because look how much he grew these last few years!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"MATSUMOTO! I'm right here! And would you please go back to work?" the white haired man shouted from his desk, while leafing through another pile of paperwork.

"Taicho!~But I'm on my lunch break!" she whined, giving him a pouty look, "Also, I really think he needs a girlfriend. All this work and no play has made him so grumpy, sometimes I think I rather be fighting hollows than being at the office... he's a slave driver, that one." she stage whispered to Maya, while giving her captain a knowing look.

"I can still hear you, Matsumoto. And your lunch hour ended two hours ago!" he said angrily, not even bothering to look up from the papers he was working through.

She ignored him, waggling her eyebrows in Maya's direction, trying to convince her of the benefits of dating the grumpy captain.

"Uhm, he looks too much like my dad? He's adorable..." Maya said, giving sending him a wave and a kiss, making the white-haired captain blush, and groan, "...but that would be like dating my brother. You know daddy sees him as his "shiro-chan" and refuses to believe he's grown up. He'd probably blame me for corrupting his "little boy" or something or another. Nevermind that he's a fully grown man." she told Rangiku, while thinking of all the candy that her dad kept in stock for what he called his "emergency" supply for the younger man.

"True enough. Thanks to him, though, we have all these wonderful sweets available !" Rangiku said happily, popping another treat in her mouth.

" Still, fact remains that thanks to a few accidents, and my dad's jealous streak...I can't get a date the normal way! Sure, plenty of guys flirt with me, but when it comes to asking me out... they would rather submit to one of Mayuri's experiments !" she whined, "Byakuya is the only one who's too arrogant to be scared of my dad, and whom also happens to be single, good-looking, and not superstitious to agree with all that nonsense about me being cursed!" Maya rationalized.

"I will agree with the arrogant. Yeah, and he's plenty handsome, if you go for the apathetic, dismissive type. But still...aren't you scared to catch frostbite from spending a whole evening with him?" she asked, rubbing her arms up and down to indicate the coldness of his character.

"You judge him too harshly, Rangiku...sure, he's a bit... "dismissive" and may seem cold, but I have a feeling there's a lot more to him than meets the eye. And he has, all through these years, been nothing but kind towards me, even after we accidentally burned down his house, and everything." she told her in a mildly disapproving voice, surprised the usually fun-loving and understanding woman would judge someone so harshly.

"I suppose. Although, I still maintain, you should at least take a winter jacket with you to this date. It's bound to be one chilly affair..." she said, pouting.

"Matsumoto, it's going to be chilly here in the next 10 seconds if you don't come back to work! Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyōrinmaru !" he said, pulling his zanpaktou from behind his back.

"I think...I better go. Bye, bye Rangiku!" Maya said, getting up quickly with a smile, sending a wave in the captain's direction, which he ignored, angrily holding his sword in Rangiku's direction.

Rangiku rolled her eyes, got up, and pouted at the captain, ignoring his angry stance, "Bye Maya! Come back later, so we can talk dresses, okay?" she told the girl, while sulkingly walking towards her own desk, carrying the chocolates with her, "Fine, fine, I'm here now! What's so important that you had to ruin girl-time, captain?"

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><p><strong>I love girl time, don't you? Lemme know what you think of this scene. I was fairly happy with it! :)<strong>


	4. Transformations for the Ball

A/n : So, I finished a 500 page book in one night just so that I could come back and type this chappy. I would have finished it in a night anyway, even without this chappy in mind, since I'm hopelessly addicted to reading, but still, give me some credit. Also, I'd like to congratulate Joseey for finally getting her account, yeay ! She also likes that I put her name in author notes, so I'll try to mention her as much as possible, hoping she will come down off her trampoline long enough to read this chappy ! :)

Fry, Amber, Starlight, Melina, lboogie, Storm Alert - thanks for the reviews! I appreciate it more than words can say! Everyone else that has added me as a favorite author, or my story as a favorite,but has not left a review, thanks anyway! I'm glad you like it enough so far to find out what happens next ! :)

Disclaimer: Urahara just gave me an evil glare from his poster on my wall...a sign of things to come? Tite Kubo, you better not be planning anything evil. Just in case, I'll let you keep Bleach for anotherweek.

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><p><span>Transformations for the Ball<span>

The resourceful women of the WSA had done a marvellous job once again. What was once an elegant garden had been magically turned into a winter wonderland. The women had asked, or rather, harassed Rukia into using her zanpaktou to cover the grounds with beautiful, fluffy snow. They had then proceeded to decorate the grounds in shades of silver, baby blue and white, transforming the beautiful grounds into a sparkling, shimmering winter-fest. Of course, poor Captain Hitsugaya had not been spared, being coerced by Rangiku to provide additional decorations in form of beautiful ice sculptures, which were then strategically placed around the area they had chosen as their "ballroom", since decorating the entire grounds would have been impossible. Once the decorations were ready, the food, sitting areas, bars, and of course, the stage where once again Hisagi's band would play (them being the only half decent band in Sereitei, unfortunately for the more "high brow" lovers of music), the ladies were ready to open house, although technically, it was not their house to open, although no one seemed to notice, or care, much to Byakuya's frustration.

Byakuya, dreading the evening ahead, had wisely decided to hide in his private quarters for the whole day, knowing he would have need of every ounce of patience he had on reserve for his "date", which would surely have been gone by midday if he had let even the sight of the dreadful women desecrating his gardens enter his perception. Rather, he had spent the day in quiet contemplation, running over paperwork that somehow never seemed to get finished in time, and using his spare time to meditate, and practice his calligraphy. If the noise outside was any indication, the women were almost ready to open his doors, which meant he had to go pick-up his...date. He shuddered, thinking about what lay in store for him tonight, between the ravenous women willing to try anything to get his attentions, and having to suffer throughout a whole night of Maya. Deciding that contemplating the torture up ahead was torture in itself, he headed over to the 13th squad, where he had been "asked" to pick her up, which was only normal considering she spent most of her time on the barracks instead of Ugendo. Using shunpo to get there as quickly as possible, knowing that delaying it was only prolonging the torture, he showed up at exactly 8:00, not bothering to address any of the startled officers that were lounging around the main room, probably waiting for their own dates to come down. He made his way towards the area where her rooms must be, using the traces of her reatsu to quickly find it, instead of wasting time asking questions. He knocked promptly at the door, impatient to get the night started so he could get it over with just as quickly. He could hear shuffling and...cursing coming from the somewhere behind the door, a sure sign the menace had not been ready at the time SHE told him to be here. After a few more minutes, the door opened slowly to reveal the woman. He had been ready for many things, but he had not been ready for this.

The woman, because even if young, that was surely what she was, her curves confirming it without a doubt, was dressed in what he could only describe as a dress made for sin. It was not that the dress was in anyway showy, or overly sexual...unlike the confections Rangiku used to attract attention to her own curves. No, this dress, was just...smoke and mirrors. On the surface, it was a moderately low cut winter white piece, showing nothing more than the top curves of her cleavage in a emperor cut, which highlighted her delightfully narrow frame and well rounded breasts, while the rest of the beautiful silk dress fell loosely to her feet, stopping to show gracefully petite feet encased in strappy, glittery sandals. However, the way the flowy, shimmering fabric would cling to every curve as she moved was what made the dress stand out, the lose fabric clinging and accentuating her figure without giving away her secrets. In sum, a dress made to make men all over think of exactly what lay under all that silk, him included, he was surprised to note. Her usually shiny,long black hair had been put up with expert care, with a few deliberately straying strands left out to frame her face in loose curls. He also noted that she had used some enchanted make up to make her eyes look even bigger, and greener, if possible; they were sultry and glittering without their natural beauty taken away by the use of cosmetics. Her mouth was shiny and pink, making her perfectly white teeth look even whiter and straighter than usual.

And he was dumbfounded, staring at her like an idiot, struck stupid in other words, not by the transformation she had gone through, since he had always known she would be breath-taking if she put in the effort, but by his body's reaction to the sight before him. Hoping she would not notice the slight bulge in his loose pants, he gave her his best cool stare, deciding to maintain as much distance between the two of them as possible for the night, both physically, and mentally, aware that his momentary lapse in judgment was nothing but a primitive male response, which he was more than capable of controlling, or so he hoped.

"Ahm. Hello. You look...nice." she said shyly, walking through the door, and closing it behind her uncertainly, now that the man had shown up at her door. To be quite honest, she had been expecting him to find an excuse to back off at the last minute, and had even been ready to forgive him, knowing she had after all tricked the poor man into escorting her, knowing it was the last thing he had wanted to do. She liked that he had dressed in a modern tuxedo piece, instead of the usual black robes and haori which marked his station, the ball being one of the few occasions captains got to dress up however they liked, and forsake the symbol of their rank, if only for a night.

"We should leave, if you'd like to make it in before the crush." was all he said as a reply, turning around as if to signal his readiness to leave. She was a little insulted he hadn't complimented her looks, which she demonstrated with a pout in the direction of his moving back, but kept following him nonetheless, her shawl and bag in hand. He stopped to wait for her as they drew near the main hall, where some men and women were lounging before leaving as well to attend the ball. He offered his arm, a gentlemanly sign that he understood more than he let on about her reasons for blackmail-,err, asking him to escort her. Together they crossed the main hall, him the picture of coolness and aristocracy, her with a tiny little smug grin for her coworkers, specially the ones on the corner who always made sure to tease her whenever they got the chance over her lack of dating. With a "queenly" wave, she greeted them, even going as far as to giving Byakuya a "loving" smile, which he of course, ignored. However, not even his inability to join in the fun downed her high spirits at the thought that after this, she may as well break the curse that had been over her head ever since the rabid bunnies incident. Now, all she had to do was make sure Byakuya stayed alive, and relatively uninjured for the rest of the night.

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><p><strong>Ta -da! Ooh, I've planted the seeds of discord in Byakuya's mind. Will he be able to keep his hands off of the vivacious Maya? Will she manage to finish the evening without any "incidents"? Oh, the suspense. Now I must go read book #2 – born of shadows by Sherrylin Kenyon. Favorite author, EVER. Also, if you are a teen, I highly recommend the chronicles of Nick by the same author. I'm not a teen anymore * frowny face *, well at least not in years, mentally however...but I digress...Back to SK... I love the series nonetheless, and highly recommend it. Other than that, please leave me a review and let me know what you would like to see happening to poor Byakuya, and to Maya on the ball. I got all kinds of devious plans, but maybe you can come up with something better? <strong>


	5. Catfight

A/N : So, I had a pretty cool wknd. Sorry I haven't published in a few days, I just had to finish these books. Just HAD To. So, so sorry. BTW I loved the idea of Byakuya dancing, and the women glomping him (who wouldn't!) hopefully I'll be able to integrate the dancing in the next chappy. But first, let's sprinkle some bitchiness. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the books were AWESOME!

Thanks girls for reviewing, I appreciate the feedback. Joseey I haven't visited your deviantArt yet, but I promise I will !:) Storm I know, there's a little bit of human underneath all that ice!, who knew? Amber I have no idea what Ju is gonna do yet...but I can promise it's gonna be hilarious !

Disclaimer: I serenated Tite Kubo over the weekend with a Mariachi band, hoping that would be enough for him to fall hopelessly in love with me, and gift me with Bleach. Never happened. Instead, he threw a bucket of water down the head of the poor Mariachi, who are now threatening to sue me because they caught a cold and can't work for at least a week. So, thanks a lot Tite, now I gotta deal with a bunch of angry Mexicans, AND I don't have bleach. DAMN YOU!

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><p><span>Catfight <span>

Maya couldn't believe the very nerve of some of the women present. Although Byakuya had clearly arrived with her in his arm, signifying they had come to the ball together, as a couple, the...hussies were still sending him heated, hussyfied looks, and some of them even dared stop by to "chat", claiming some acquaintance. Byakuya, as always, remained cool and aloof, greeting the women respectfully, while at the same time managing to convey his disinterest, which she thought was a pretty cool trick. He didn't offend the women, but neither did he invite them to stay and talk. Instead, his chilled demeanor warned the women off, without him having to lift a finger. She was definitely impressed at how calmly he turned away woman, after desperate woman, without losing his patience or composure. _So this is how a noble truly behaves in these situations,_ she thought to herself, amazed he managed to maintain the same grace and noble manner although the situation was extremely annoying, and had she been in his position, she would have freaked out by now. Although her father was a noble by birth, he had not suffered as much as Byakuya because of it, probably because he was minor nobility as opposed to being the head of one of the major four noble families in Sereitei, like Byakuya. Also, his very nature had always been so friendly and patient, him being an extroverted, easy-going guy, she had never noticed just how annoying the situation would get to be. It helped of course, that her mom drove away any woman dumb enough to try anything funny, so her dad never had the swarm of women hungrily buzzing around him like Byakuya had at the moment.

"Do you need a break?" she asked softly, so that only he could hear it in the crowded ballroom.

"I beg your pardon?" he answered sombrely, raised eyebrow and all.

"From the ravenous she-wolves? Do you need a break? You look calm on the outside, but I can see you are clenching your teeth a little... it's been two hours straight of this circus. I wouldn't blame you if you needed a breather." she told him, concerned.

His nostrils flared slightly, but when he spoke, it was with a deadpan tone of boredom, and a hint of condescension, " Do not concern yourself, Maya-san. I'm quite used to the...circus, as you put it. It's a noble's lot in life, after all, and as the head of the house, I'm quite used to the attention." he told her calmly, although there was a fire in his eyes that showed his irritation with her interference.

"Fine. Sheesh. No need to be hoity-toity about it." she said with a frown, not liking how condescending he sounded, or the look in his eye.

"Do not feel obligated to stay by my side. If you need to tend to your friends and acquaintances please do not hesitate to leave. I shall be fine here." he said dismissively, not even bothering to look at her, simply waving one elegant hand in her direction.

She didn't even bother to answer him, highly offended with his attitude. "Condescending little prick." she mumbled under her breath, making her way towards the women's rest station, a big tent set up with a lounging area, a pampering area, and of course, restrooms. When she came in, she was glad to find there was no one there, and she quickly sat down one on one of the couches by the corner to massage her aching feet, which were unused to high heels and were aching fiercely due to the beautiful sparkly sandals Rangiku had made her wear.

The women that came in following her entrance barely stopped to look around, and thankfully did not see her sitting in the shadowed corner. Instead, they made their way towards the "pampering" station, pulling out lipsticks, powders, mascara and other tubes of make up she didn't even know how to use. They were chatting about the ball, the music and the men, while happily re-applying their heavy, overdone make-up. Maya recognized one of them, the frizzy redhead, as the daughter of a rich merchant that had been admitted to Gotei 13 last year as an unseated officer of the 7th, and rumour was that her father had somehow bribed her way into the Gotei. The other two however, were not known to Maya, which made her wonder if they were maybe nobles who had been invited to the ball, and not shinigami. The next few sentences they traded confirmed it for her.

"Oh, Kiki, did you see how wonderfully fabulous Kuchiki-sama looks? Hm, that tuxedo does wonders for him, I wish he'd dress like that when he attends those boring meetings that we always get dragged into by our parents. Instead, he's always dressed in his traditional nobility mantle. Boo." the tall brunette said to the wilted blond by her side, while pressing some powder on her face, which in Maya's opinion did nothing to hide the woman's less than perfect features.

"Indeed, yes, Aya, he looks fine in anything the man wears...but tonight he's extra-scrumptious...if only that stupid girl would move away from his side long enough for us to corner him...I'm sure we could get him to compromise one of us... imagine, bagging the great head of the Kuchiki clan? My parents would have the vapors!" the blond replied, happily applying another layer of lip-gloss to her thin lips.

The redhead snorted, an unbecoming sound that made her sound like a horse, "Yeah, well, I rather marry some minor noble, or a rich merchant... Imagine having that block of ice for a husband? My private bits would probably get frostbite!" she exclaimed, cackling at her own crude joke, while trying to smooth down her hair, an useless gesture, in Maya's opinion.

"Oh, please. I doubt he would want to touch his wife, so we are safe from that. Who cares, he would look good in my arm, even if he's as frigid as a January pond swim. And all that money...imagine what you could buy with that wealth!" Aya replied,playfully smacking the redhead's arm, whom stood on her other side.

"I suppose the money would come in handy, although I really can't see that man being able to please any woman in another way. He's so... blah. Maybe he likes men instead, and killed his last wife to get rid of her?" the redhead offered, making Maya gasp silently at the offence, horrified at how vicious the women were being.

"Oh no, I'm sure she killed herself because she couldn't stand lying with that block of ice anymore." the blond said laughing.

"Oh, please, you're both being bitches just because he'd never look your way! Who cares how that piece of filth died anyway, at least she's gone, and he'll eventually have to marry again, in order to produce an heir to the Kuchiki clan. And I intend to be his bride! If only we could get that little accident-prone bastard away from him, I'm sure I could charm him with my plentiful "assets"" she told the two girls conspiratorially, pulling up her cleavage to highlight which assets she had been speaking of.

Maya was not offended at the slights cast in her direction. She didn't care if the women thought less of her because her father had not been married yet to her mother when she was conceived, or any other insults they could cast at her. She was however livid at how poorly they spoke of the man who had been nothing but polite to every woman who had come his way to annoy him, and how cruel they were in regards to his late wife, whom everyone knew he had loved very much, even going as far as marrying someone who was clearly beneath him in station. Obviously, these harpies knew nothing of the pain he hid behind the cool mask, or how hard he stepped on his temper in order to deal with their fake, money-grabbing attentions all night long, never once being anything less than respectful towards the bitches, even if it made him clench his teeth so hard he probably would have a sore jaw by the end of the evening. Unable to stand their vapid talk another second, and their fruitless plans to land him, she put on her heels again, got up, and made her way towards the three worthless, cruel creatures, intending to give them the set down of their lives, if not the beating of their lives. She walked calmly in their direction, seeing as one by one they became aware of her presence, seeing her walking their way in the reflection of the mirror they had been turned towards, their eyes going as wide as saucers, and their jaws hanging down in surprise.

"Oh, Ukitake-san, how lovely-" the redhead started with a wan smile, the first to regain her composure.

"Don't bother. You are a bunch of fakes, and I have no patience for your type. I heard everything you said, and I could care less about what you think of me...but how dare you speak so poorly of a man that has done nothing but be polite towards every single desperate, senseless female that has thrown themselves in his path tonight, and everyday of his existence in fact?" she said, watching the three turn towards her, taking defensive stances.

The first to speak, the "leader" of their pack, held the two other girls back, while raking Maya with a spiteful glance that started down at her shoes and moved all the way up her figure to land on her face."Hmm...look who's all high and mighty! Oh please, get off your high horse. You're only with him because he's rich and titled. Don't even try to pretend otherwise." the brunette claimed, rolling her eyes towards her, and crossing her arms under her "assets".

"Unlike you, I have no need for more money, or a better position in society. I don't need to defend why I would choose Byakuya to you, it's clear you're too dumb and greedy to see anything other than his money and status anyway. But just in case it cuts through your foggy, grasping little minds, let me illuminate your minds with a few things : that man is one of the bravest warriors of our plane of existence. He's not only honourable and powerful,...he's holds himself to a higher standard than anyone else, always demanding more and more from himself. He wears his nobility like a shield, not letting annoying, greedy women like you get under his skin, instead, he offers cordiality and politeness, although none of you deserve it after years of chasing after him, not caring that he's obviously still grieving the death of someone he loved very much!" she yelled at them, throwing the accusations forth, eliciting gasps and winces from the shocked women.

"He might be cool and collected, and yeah, I'll admit he can be an insensitive little prick sometimes, and a major pain in the ass... Of course he's a cold customer, and annoys the hell out of me with those barely lifted eyebrows...oh and he's so condescending ! Oof, it makes me want to hit him so bad, when he talks to me like I'm a retarded butterfly on crack!" she exclaimed, remembering his attitude a mere ten minutes ago, "but underneath it all, he one of the most complex, passionate beings I have ever met, and I wish I was good enough for him, even if I think I'm not. If he chooses to keep things to himself, and only show a cool facade, it's because none of you are worthy of his attention! You never bother to see anything but your own ugly faces in the mirror! You never, ever bothered to see the man under the powerful captain, and the nobleman. So, why do you think he would ever bother being anything but icy towards you? What have you ever done to deserve anything but his ice? You never bother to look at him, instead, all you see is the piles of money he has...what makes you think he doesn't see that in your eyes when you look at him? You greedy, stupid...BITCHES! I may not be good enough for him, but you... you are not fit to lick his shoes. So stay away from him, or so help me..." Maya finished, walking away from the three dumbstruck, fearful women, shaking at the rage she felt, and reeling at how overprotective and positively possessive she had felt when she had heard how badly they were speaking of him. She left the tent quickly, not even looking where she was going, simply wanting to get away from the harpies, and the scene. She didn't even bother to look up, or back, and when she collided against a solid chest, she was surprised to find the face of one Byakuya Kuchiki staring at her intently while holding her arms to keep her steady, a mysterious, powerful look in his eyes that chilled her to her very bones.

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><p><strong>TUN TUN TUN ! Oh, those bitches. I wanted to kick their asses. Although, to be fair, Byakuya sometimes is a little bit of cold prick, isn't he, although a very scrumptious one. Comment and let me know. Please, please review! <strong>


	6. twirling

A/N:  I'm really worried about the OOCness here. Lemme know what you think ! Sorry for the small chappy, I got wicked back pain, which is making it hard for me to concentrate =/

Disclaimer: Damnit, T.K.

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><p><span>Twirling<span>

He had come to find Maya and..."apologize"...he shuddered...for his quick dismissal of her. He had felt oddly exposed when she had commented on his irritation, as if she had somehow seen through decades worth of masking his emotions, and he may have overreacted in his treatment of her. In truth, she had voiced exactly what he'd been thinking, and she had acted out of kindness, not spite. After a few minutes, it had dawned on his that he may have overreacted when he sent her away, and possibly hurt her feelings in the process... so he had come in the direction she had left, hoping to corner her on the way out of the tent, and maybe ask her if she wanted some punch, or perhaps a dance. Although she was in truth the last woman on earth he would have chosen to date, she had after all offered to help him with the SWA, and she had in fact made the evening a lot more bearable than it had been in the past, with only a small fraction of the women he usually had to fend off at these functions bothering him this time around. So, maybe she had been a bit familiar with him, but he supposed that was a small, forgivable offence, one that had stemmed from concern, and not spite, and he had grossly overreacted towards her.

He had been standing close to the entrance of the tent, waiting for her to exit, when he heard the exchange between the women inside. It had not surprised or angered him in the least, since this had not been the first time he had overheard what people thought of him. Honestly, he was rather glad they thought so little of him, although he wished it would be bad enough to get them to stay away from his path, instead of faking injury and gods know what else in order to get closer to him. It had shocked him, on the other hand, when he heard the voice of Maya coming to his defence. Of all the things he imagined her doing, such as joining them in the bashing of his character, or perhaps defending her right to be by his side... her defence of his honour was the last thing he had been prepared for. Even though he had never treated her with anything but barely constrained annoyance throughout the years, rarely paying her any attention when she came by to pester him, she had jumped at the chance to defend him, even going as far as threatening the idiots inside. He was shocked to his very core at how passionately she had spoken, and how eerily well she understood him, although he never tried to be anything but a "condescending prick" towards her. It irked him a bit that in her honesty she had chosen some rather...interesting ways of describing him, and herself for that matter. _A retarded butterfly on crack?How does one even speak to such creature?_, he thought darkly, unhappy at some of her choice of words, such as "major pain in the ass", amongst others. But overall, he had found himself uncommonly touched at her rant, never having heard anyone take arms to defend him in all his life without something to gain from it, other than perhaps Rukia. So when she had stumbled out of the tent, and fallen into his arms, accident prone as always, he had been at a loss on what to say to her.

"Uhm. Hello. The men's tent is that way?" she said uncertainly, a small blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I know, Maya. I was waiting for you." he responded, still staring at her jade-green eyes, taking in her delicate features.

"Oh. I..., hm." she stuttered, her blush now spreading to her neck and cleavage, a becoming shade of pink spreading over her milky skin, "Hum. I-, mmf.", she mumbled incoherently, her pink lips opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I apologize for being curt. You were correct in your assessment." he told her calmly, still holding on to her.

"Oh. Okay. It's alright, I suppose. You didn't hear-, I mean, did you just get here?" she asked, a small frown taking over her features.

He chose to ignore the question, not wanting to discuss the awkward subject. Instead, he straightened her up, and let go of her arms, setting her own her own two feet. She took the time to adjust her dress, and smoothing down imaginary wrinkles from her skirt.

"Maya-san, it would seem I have been rather remiss in my duties as your escort for the evening. It has dawned on me that I have yet to ask you to dance. Would you do me the honor?" he said calmly, extending one hand in her direction, a clear invitation.

She blushed anew, but the smile she gave him knocked his breath from his very lungs. She turned that beautiful, electric smile in his direction, her eyes twinkling merrily, excitement lighting up her elven features becomingly.

"I thought you'd never ask!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand, and dragging him to the dance floor.

Although it irked him a bit that she would drag him anywhere with such lack of decorum, he allowed himself to be pulled, a tiny, almost invisible smile settling on his lips. They made it to the middle of the dance floor as the band started a slow ballad. He took her hands in his, noticing for the first time how small and soft they were, and positioned one of them in his shoulder, while holding on to the other. She smiled shyly at him, gulping when he positioned his other hand on her waist.

He let the music guide them. He was pleasantly surprised to discover she was a fair dancer, graceful and light on her feet, and it reminded him of the first time they had danced together, although in very different circumstances. She had been a precocious twelve year old then, and had insisted he dance with her until he gave in. She had ordered him to twirl her around many times on the dance floor then, he remembered, all the while throwing cherry blossom petals around. He wondered if she still liked to be twirled, and decided to try it, moving her around the dance floor so he could manoeuvre a twirl, to which she responded with a happy giggle, a delighted smile in her features when he spun her slowly to the beat of the music.

In the crowded dance floor, they continued to dance, lost in the music and the sheer delight of the moment, neither one noticing the surprised stares they were being given by the couples around them, or the thunderous frown Captain Ukitake had on his face, watching the mismatched pair twirl and laugh on the dance floor, only being held back by an amused Ryo, who grabbed on to his arm and would not let him interrupt the adorable moment.

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><p><strong>Yeay for dancing ! What did you think? Too OOC? Eek. Lemme know ! Xoxo, <strong>


	7. Moonlight Sonata

A/N : So, I was thinking, ya know what, Screw it, to me, Byakuya has a heart, and a soul, and I refuse to paint him with the same "uncaring" brush most fanfics do. Go ahead, canon police, come and get me! Baw Haw Haw! In any case, thanks girlies for your wonderful support, I appreciate it more than words can say. Also, I hope you'll enjoy the more playful side of Byakuya, although he managed to even surprise me with this one. Let me know what you think, okay? Xoxo

disclaimer : Tite Kubo almost gave me bleach, almost.

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><p><span>Moonlight Sonata<span>

She was having a wondrous time. Never in a lifetime would she have guessed that Byakuya Kuchiki, head of the Kuchiki household, and captain of the 6th, would be, on top of handsome, talented and powerful,such an extraordinary, graceful dancer. He moved her around the danced floor expertly, moving and twirling, mindful of the crowded dance floor but not in the least hesitant. She felt like molten lava in his hands, twisting and turning which ever way he sent her with uncommon grace and skill, like she had been born to dance, opposed to her usual awkwardness when dancing, the few times she had been asked in one of these events. The thought brought to mind the last time she had danced with him, many, many years ago, on her mother's wedding. Back then she'd been a precocious, spontaneous child without an ounce of discretion, and had, thinking Byakuya the handsomest man present, harassed him mercilessly to dance with her, until he had given in with an almost imperceptible sigh, much to her delight. Remembering her insistence he not only twirl her around, but scatter the few cherry blossoms she had left in her basket when he did so, Maya could not contain a giggle at the memory. Byakuya gave her a curious look, as if asking her what was so funny, but she merely shrugged, and kept dancing, content to keep the peace, without reminding him of what a brat she had been back then.

They continued dancing straight through another three songs, not bothering to keep up small talk, something neither one of them enjoyed. Instead, they focused on the steps, and the cheer joy of dancing, although she did notice eventually the frown her dad was sporting, as well as the curious glances that were being sent their way. Apparently he did as well at some point, or simply became tired or overheated, because towards the end of the fourth song, he asked her if she would like to take a break to catch her breath, even though neither one of them were breathless, and she did not feel in the least tired. Nonetheless, she complied, letting herself be led out of the dance floor and towards the empty bar on the corner, where refreshments were still being served. He grabbed two champagne flutes, passing her one, but did not stop to sit by the empty tables, or move in the direction of the crowd. Instead, he chose to lead them towards the quiet, unoccupied grounds further down, which had been sectioned off for the purposes of the ball.

She followed him anyway, curious to see where he was going, and glad to be away from the many eyes of Sereitei, if only for a moment. Although she loved her friends at the SWA, and her fellow shinigami in general, she knew they would pounce on her the very minute they saw her, curious of how she had managed to not only get the infamous Byakuya Kuchiki to escort her to the ball, but also to dance with her. They made their way through the quiet, serene gardens, walking alongside without bothering with chitchat, content to enjoy the relative silence. Finally, they found themselves at the edge of a pond, supposedly the famous Kuchiki Koi pond from where many of the Koi in her own state had apparently stemmed from, according to Yachiru anyway. She giggled at the sight of the small, peaceful fish that were lazily swimming, wondering if they ran for cover at the sight of the pink haired demon, like she would have, were she a fish. Byakuya looked at her curiously but decided not to comment, guiding her towards the small bridge, a perfect spot to take in the beauty of the gardens, strategically built for its amazing, almost magical view of the pond, and grounds.

They settled by the bridge side by side, content to silently watch the fish dancing in the moonlight, the red, white and yellow scales glinting in the otherwise dark pond. Finally, Maya broke the silence, curious as to what was passing through his mind.

" The view from here is gorgeous. If I lived here, I'd walk these grounds every day..." she commented, sighing happily.

" Which I do." he said, to which she turned to look at him, interested, "I walk through these gardens every night, before I settle in to sleep. It... grounds me. Reminds me of my duties towards the Kuchiki household. These gardens have been here for millenia, tended by generation after generation of Kuchikis. Now, they are mine to tend, and it's up to me to see that they maintain their beauty and dignity, showing proudly the labors of my long-gone ancestors." he told her in a quiet voice, almost as if surprised at himself, to be speaking about such things.

"Well, you're doing a good job. They are amazing. I suppose I understand why you hate it so much when the SWA invades your property better now. You see it as an affront to your ancestors, not your own personal grounds..." she said evenly, to which he responded with a curt nod, still watching the colorful Koi beneath them. "I'm sorry we are such a bother. I will honestly try to get them to move to Ugendo, I promise. Daddy won't mind half as much, and that way I'll be able to pay you back for helping me tonight." she told him apologetically, ashamed now of the many times she had helped the devious women of the SWA plot against him.

"I won't blame you if you can't. They have been at it for longer than you've been alive." he told her, looking in the direction of the party far away, which was in full swing.

"I do appreciate what you have done tonight immensely though. I can't describe how much it means to me that you escorted me here, and pretended to be my date. I-" she hesitated, unsure how to explain the situation without giving away too much, "I seem to have developed a ..."reputation" ...amongst the people of Sereitei. Something about a curse, or some nonsense like that, which I assure you is absolute drivel!" she yelled the last bit, getting worked up. He gave her the "eyebrow", making her feel like a little kid who had burped in public.

"I'm well aware of your... "reputation", Maya. I have heard some rumors in spite of my wanting nothing to do with idle gossip." he said, turning back to look at the (stupid) fish again, whom were apparently a lot more interesting than her, she complained internally.

"Yes, well...it's nonsense" she started, to which she thought she heard a tiny chuckle...but surely, it must have been some some insect or something, because he looked absolutely serious when she looked at him curiously, "And still, hopefully now other men will see that I'm not cursed and contagious, and that I can in fact make my date remain alive and well for a whole evening, no matter what the malicious gossips claim. Not that I want to date, I mean-" she stuttered the last bit, embarrassed to be discussing such personal information with him, "Well, it's just-" she trailed off, not sure how to explain it.

"You want to be treated like everyone else, perhaps?" he offered, staring at the almost full moon that illuminated the pond.

"I suppose you must know what that's like. To be treated differently, I mean. I know you heard those women, Byakuya, I'm sorry-" she said, to be silenced by one elegant hand that came up to stop her.

"I'm quite used to it. It's... it's been like this my whole life. It's all I know. When I was very young, it made me angry, to be treated always differently from others, but now... It comes with the territory. I'm the head of the Kuchiki clan, and I'm a captain of the 13th. I would never give up either honours, not for something as petty as the regard of strangers." he told her calmly, not bothering to look at her.

"Well, when you put it that way... now I feel stupid. Caring what others think, I mean." she said, pouting a bit.

"I never said that." he said simply, a tiny smile playing on his lips.

"You implied it." she snapped, irritated that he would think so little of her.

"Not at all, Maya-san." he continued just as calmly as if they had been discussing the weather, which irritated her to no end.

"Did too!" she exclaimed loudly,

"Did not." he said slowly, prompting her to lose it, and punch him playfully on his shoulder. The famous eyebrow came up, and he gave her a side look, as if surprised she had actually touched him, but he didn't say anything, merely waiting for her to act further.

"You... ! You are a bully, Byakuya, did you know that?" she said playfully, smiling at him lopsidedly.

"I'm afraid you are not the first to have implied so, although your choice of words are definitely... interesting. Apparently I can also be an "insensitive prick, and a "major pain"" he said, looking at her with a tiny little smile on his own lips, much to her surprise.

She blushed, remembering her heated words."Well, you are. I bet you drive poor Rukia to distraction with your eyebrow raising" she said, to which he raised an eyebrow again, "see what I mean? All this disapproval business, raising your aristocratic eyebrow my way, trying to intimidate me into shutting up." she told him, rolling her eyes, "I mean, when has it ever worked? I don't even know why you bother. I'm immune to your eyebrow, Byakuya!" she exclaimed, when he refused to put the offensive part down.

"I see." he said, turning around to face her, "I suppose then, I shall find another way to keep you quiet, then?" he said, examining her as if she was a petri dish, and him the demented captain of the 12th.

"Hah, good luck with that! I outgrew my candy phase long ago, so don't even bother with that!" she told him smartly, remembering better days when he would throw candy out to her and Yachiru, much to the delight of both, who purposely bothered him whenever their candy stock was low.

"Hmm. I wonder..." he said, turning his head to the side, still looking at her curiously.

"Trust me, they have all tried. To shut me up, I mean. I'm not capable, unfortunately. I mean, I am, but, I rather not. What's so wrong with speaking what's on your mind, I ask? Honesty never hurt anybody, well, except Omeada, who told SoiFon her cat obsession was creepy. Her response certainly looked like it hurt..." she continued, babbling in her nervousness, specially at the way he was looking at her.

"Hm. I wonder if they did try everything?" he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly, watching the movement of her animated features.

"Of course. Poor Sentaro tried to bribe me, coerce me, blackmail me, and threaten me. The last he won't be doing again any time now, unless he stops valuing certain parts of his anatomy..." she continued, "And Kiyone once even tried crying to get me to shut up. Didn't work, because I thought she had hurt herself and started asking a million questions...poor thing, she won't try that again!" she said with a smile, remembering the poor third seat's face getting redder and redder with each question she fired off.

"Did anyone tried occupying your runaway mouth to get you to shut up?" he asked evenly,

"What?" she asked, surprised.

The next thing she knew, he pulled her closer to his body, and crushed his mouth down on hers, kissing her, effectively robbing her of speech, and even breath. After a few seconds of shock, she fluttered her eyes closed and returned the kiss, enjoying the feel of his lips against hers. After what seemed like hours, but was in reality less than two or three minutes, he raised his head, and looked at her. She opened her eyes dazedly, shocked, but too surprised and pleased to say anything other than stare. He looked at her with heat in his eyes, rubbing her her slightly swollen lip with one thumb in a tender caress, before saying:

"See, I knew something would eventually work to shut you up." he said, sounding pleased with himself,

Offended, and shocked, she pushed him backwards with unnatural force, upset that he had kissed her to prove a point, and not because he had wanted to, because he had desired her. She failed to remember they were standing at a bridge, and after a second of hesitancy, where he flayed about hopelessly trying to catch his balance, he fell backwards, with a loud splash, disrupting a lonely frog, and a variety of Koi. She looked down on him, horrified at what she had done. With a loud gasp, she pointed at him, angry and upset:

"Look what you made me do! Damnit, now I'll never get another date!" she shouted angrily, before leaving a shocked, wet Byakuya sitting on the shallow pond, wondering what on earth he had been thinking to kiss the cursed menace, and how he would possibly be able to sneak inside his private quarters without getting caught by one of his "guests".

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><p><strong>So, I wonder how Maya is gonna exact revenge after this! Leave me some ideas, I'd love to incorporate them! <strong>


	8. Baldy Strikes

A/N :  First of all, I just wanna say I loved the idea that Jenny had to die Byakuya's hair pink, although even I'm not that cruel. I do however plan on using the scarf at some point to annoy him. Also, thanks so much girls for the definite support! I was so happy today when I woke up and I had 4 new reviews! yeaay! So, thanks a million for your continuing support, and your excellent feedback!

Oh, as a side note, I had decided on Maya's weapon ever since my last story, but I'm still stuck on the actual name of her zanpaktou. Any ideas?

Disclaimer: Will throw Koi at your head if you don't give me Bleach, damnit.

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><p><span>Baldy strikes <span>

The next day found Maya training with Ikakku Madarame, the third seat of the 11th division, and long time babysitter of Yachiru, the pink-haired terror of Sereitei. Why Maya had chosen to "train" ( if picking a fight with the bald hothead could be called training) with Ikakku was obvious. She needed to work off most of her anger somewhere, and with someone who wouldn't run to tell her father, like Kiyone and Sentaro often did when she sparred with them. The hot-heads of the 11th were perfect for that, not only because they loved to fight for absolutely no reason, but because they were more likely to grunt than speak, specially when it came to gossiping about her lack of dates, or any other nonsense involving the "curse". So she had shown up at the 11th bright and early, with the pretence of visiting Yachiru, and had started the first of what she hoped would be many fights today, by dumping a bowl of soup on top of Ikakku's head, prompting the baldy to get up immediately and unsheathe his sword, ready to exact revenge. She smiled evilly and pulled her own, excited for her first fight of the day.

"Yo, what gives?" he asked with a scowl, advancing towards her.

"Your head was so shiny, it was distracting me! Bring it on, moon-head!" she shouted, delighted he fell for the bait.

"I'm going to skewer you for that ! AAHH!" he shouted, moving to clash his sword against hers. She responded delightedly, laughing merrily at the absolute freedom a good fight brought, bringing her zanpaktou to deflect.

They continued their fight for a good hour, not caring for a moment that they were destroying buildings as they went, intent only in somehow besting one another, Ikakku's glee at the spontaneous fight apparent in the twinkle in his eyes. Maya's own green eyes shone brightly, enjoying the outlet of violence she wished she could have committed against someone else, namely a certain captain of the 6th. The very thought of him made her stumble, giving Ikakku the opening he needed. He came down on her like lightning, and she barely managed to dodge before he made Maya-kebob with the direct hit. Instead, his sword came down to pierce her shoulder, and although it made her see stars it hurt so much, she managed to throw a kido spell ( total cheap shot, considering he was 11th, and hated Kido with a passion) in his face, giving her just enough time to recuperate from the injury, and regain her stance.

He looked irritated at the Kido spell, growling at her use of what he considered "sissy" fighting, but kept the fight going anyway, glad she was still standing to fight back. Maya however was starting to tire, and her wound was starting to throb, so she decided to call a break, knowing the man who loved fighting also hated losing, but would gladly call a momentary truce, if it meant they would get to finish off the fight later. She yelled "Kenpachi!", which was guaranteed to make any 11th squad member stop fighting and cower, thinking their captain maniac had shown up to "spar". To Ikakku's credit, he did not look the least frightened, but he did stop, scowling at her.

"What, tired already, brat?" he asked impatiently, twirling his sword around.

"Not tired, just hurting. Can I take a rain-check? I gotta get my shoulder seen to before my dad finds out I'm injured, or worse, my mom. They monitor my reatsu, and I think it's starting to wane..." she told him with a wince, thinking of the last time she'd shown up home with a scratch. To Ikakku's credit again, he gulped, and whitened visibly at the mention of her mother, thinking of what the hothead would do when she found out he had been the one to give Maya the injury.

"Tche. I suppose it's for the best. I'd love to fight both Ryo and Captain Ukitake, but that would surely put me out of commission for a few days, if not months. But you're still not forgiven for the soup!" he said, rotating his shoulders and looking away from her, annoyed that his fun had been cut short.

"Oh, give over, Ikakku. I only did that so we could have some fun fighting. You know I love your shiny head!" she said with a small giggle, which was followed by a wince, as her shoulder throbbed at the movement.

"Tche." was all he said in respect to that, rolling his eyes at her, "Well, come on. We'll get someone to chase down that stupid Hanataro kid so he can come take a lot at your shoulder. In the meantime, you can hang out with Yachiru. It was my turn to watch her, but since you're here..." he said with a sly smile, enjoying the fact that he would still be able to exact payback for the soup incident in the form of saddling her with Yachiru.

"That's positively evil, Ikakku. That's just plain mean, I'll have you know. I bet you left her occupied with a bag of candy the moment Kenpachi dropped her off, and didn't even bother to keep an eye on her. Now she's gonna be on a sugar high!" Maya whined, although she loved the little demon too much to complain overmuch, even if it exhausted her to watch Yachiru.

He merely snorted at the thought, not bothering to reply. He guided her towards a steel enforced area, where an extra-hyper Yachiru could be found drawing all over the walls, before leaving to shout at someone to get that "wimp from the 4th", as he affectionately called poor Hanataro. With nothing else to do until she had her shoulder looked at by a medic, she went to join Yachiru, wondering what kind of shenanigans they could get up to for the rest of the day.

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><p><strong>So, Maya-kebob anyone? ! I just wanted to mess a bit with Ikakku, cause he's one of my favorite characters, but I didn't even give him much screen time in "The Promise". I hope you enjoyed the short fight. Lemme know what you think, okay? <strong>


	9. Dinner at the Kuchikis

A/n : Yeay for Beautiful Reviews ! Fry, as always, you made my day with your super awesome F's and your beautifully written reviews! I appreciate the thumbs up, and I hope Maya keeps amusing and surprising you with her antics ! Melina, thanks for not calling the canon police, and I totally agree with you! Storm, wait till you see what Maya does in the next chappy. Freak outs are one of her specialities!Amber, fish ARE stupid, specially Koi! :)

Disclaimer : Tite Kubo, you don't even KNOW! Youdon'tevenKNOW! (slams door in the best diva manner possible.)

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><p><span>Dinner at the Kuchikis <span>

Dinner at the Kuchiki household was a quiet affair, with only Byakuya and Rukia in residence, the rest of the clan choosing their own private quarters to dine, or dining out in one of the many restaurants available in Sereitei. They had gone through several courses already, without much more than a few word exchanged between them. Byakuya was trying his hardest (but failing miserably) not to think about the events of the night before, up to, and including his impromptu swim in the Koi pond, courtesy of the "cursed menace", as he had taken to calling her privately, in his own head. And he had, indeed, called her that many, many times throughout the day, in fact, every time he sneezed, his brain offered the name of the party to blame for the cold he had developed: the cursed menace. Although, to be honest, he was in part to blame for the unfortunate dip in pond, not that he thought for a moment that she had been justified in doing what she did. Still, he should have known better than to provoke her, knowing how utterly unpredictable and downright ballsy she was. In fact, he felt like a fool for not anticipating such reaction from the immature Maya... what had he been thinking anyway, kissing her? Thinking probably what he always thought around her, _find a way to shut her up_, glowering at his untouched plate. He'd been so preoccupied with his own thoughts, that he didn't notice the strange look he was getting from Rukia, who had been sitting in front of him since the beginning of the meal, watching him with a look of morbid fascination in her eyes.

"Aham. Ni-sama? Are you...quite alright?" she asked shyly, too curious as to why he was looking at the plate in front of him as if he'd like to kill it, to refrain from provoking him further.

"What? Of course. I'm perfectly well, Rukia." he said, still glowering at the offending plate, not that she saw anything wrong with it.

"I see. You are awfully quiet tonight." she commented, although to be fair, he was usually quiet during dinner time.

"Yes. I apologize." he said, frowning now at the plate, as if it would tell him something he needed to know. A slight sneeze interrupted his musings.

" You're sick, Ni-sama? Did you catch a cold from yesterday? Was it because of all the snow? I knew it would end up causing trouble..." Rukia asked, concerned.

"No, it's quite alright, Rukia. I was... coerced again into hosting the SWA ball, and I understand how they get when they want something. And it wasn't the snow...I'm just feeling poorly." he lied, not willing to share with her, or anyone, his embarrassing midnight swim episode.

"Oh, I see. You did disappear yesterday at some point without letting anyone know you were retiring. I was slightly concerned, seeing as you were with Maya at the time..." Rukia said, with a tiny shrug.

"Don't tell me you believe the nonsense about her being cursed too, Rukia?" he asked calmly, although he found himself seething inside that even his sister would perpetuate the foolishness about Maya being cursed. Even if he had, in fact, taken to calling her cursed in his own mind.

"No, no, of course not. I mean-, well, a little? Not on purpose, but you must admit she's very, very VERY accident prone." Rukia replied, wincing.

"I suppose. I never paid much attention to her." _Liar,_ his conscience screamed.

"Yes, well, she's a bit on the unlucky side. Whether it's because she's so hyper and likely to look for trouble, or whether it's sheer coincidence... you must admit even you have heard about the many, many instances she's gotten into some sort of mishap. It amuses her father greatly, I must say. He doesn't seem the least concerned that she can't even get a date because of all these... incidents...in fact, he seems to glow with happiness every time something happens. Who would have thought, he's usually such a kind, sweet man." Rukia said, thinking of the suspicious smile she saw on Captain Ukitake's face every time Maya showed up miserable after a no-success date/disaster.

"Hm. He is the overprotective sort, I suppose." he commented dryly, remembering Jushiro's thunderous expression at the sight of Maya and him dancing.

"Yes, he is. He goes a little berserk even when he finds out she got a little injured. She showed up today with a hurt shoulder, and it took Sentaro, Kiyone and I to hold him back long enough till he calmed down, and quit wanting to kill the person who "hurt his little girl", even though, to be honest, she probably started it, as she usually does..." Rukia told him with a small smile, remembering the girl's guilty expression at being caught sneaking into the 13th by her furious father, who had immediately noticed her bandaged shoulder.

"Maya is injured? What happened?" he asked concerned, forgetting for a moment he wasn't supposed to care.

"Oh, nothing to worry about. Apparently she was training, and stumbled. Just a flesh wound, or something." Rukia told him, although she looked at him weirdly, starting to suspect something, "How was your date with Maya, anyway?" she asked, noting the suspicious blush that spread over his features, even if he looked just as calm and uncaring as he always did.

"It wasn't a date. I was forced to escort her, in case you haven't forgotten." he stated slowly, trying to maintain his apathetic facade.

"Hm. Well, I suppose then you won't be the least bit jealous then when she gets asked out on dates. Now that you managed to survive intact while on a date with her, it will serve to prove that she is not cursed, and all those guys who've been dying to ask her out, but too afraid of injury or worse, will flock to ask her out on a date, probably even risking the wrath of Captain Ukitake. She's not going to be lacking handsome, single men to ask her out...not at all. She's a very pretty girl after all." Rukia said slyly, taking a huge bite of the sponge cake they had been served for dessert.

Byakuya didn't even bother to respond, choosing to glare violently at his own dessert instead. Rukia tried her best not to laugh in front of her adoptive brother, afraid it would send him in the direction of his zanpaktou, or worse, get him to glare at HER cake with those ready-to-murder eyes.

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><p><strong>And now, all I need is a good, "well thought-out" plan of revenge. Let me know what you thought of this little family dinner ! I'm trying to keep Byakuya in character as much as possible, so let me know if you disagree immensely, and why. <strong>


	10. Revenge of the Koi

A/N: OMG, my favorite scene so far. I've been dreaming of this ever since...well, I don't know how long exactly, but it's been a while. Anywho, I loved this scene, and I hope you will too. Lemme know what you think in form of a review **wink wink! **

Also, I'd like to thank everyone who's had a chance to review, I know I upload super mega fast sometimes, and it barely leaves anyone any time to review before another chappy is up. Please review the chappies individually anyway if you can, before hitting that wonderful "next" button. I like to know what goes through your heads as you read the chappies individually, that way it gives me a better idea of whether I need to re-think the pace of the story, and whatnot.

Joseey you're so hilarious, I can imagine you trying to get away from work to lie in the sun! :) Good for you, but I hope you get some time to read up before you have to go "work again"

Jenny don't worry, your ideas will definitely make the cut ! Keep them going...as you'll see, the revenge thing will be going for a while, so I'm sure I'll run out of ideas pretty soon !

Disclaimer : Here's a shiny red apple, Tite Kubo, no ,I promise you won't fall asleep, or die. Go ahead, and take a bite.

Revenge of the Koi

Maya had absolutely loved the idea Yachiru had innocently given her during the afternoon they spent together, unaware Maya had been itching for revenge ever since the "kiss and splash" episode. Maya hadn't told anyone about what had happened, specially since a) people would find out about Byakuya's unfortunate dip in the pond, and declare it was because of the curse b) she was too embarrassed to talk about that kiss with anyone, and finally c) no one had found out about the incident, which meant everyone thought her date had been a success, despite the fact that she had been in a foul mood ever since the ball. So, when a candied-up Yachiru had commented that she hadn't been to Ugendo for ages, now that Ukitake didn't get sick as often, a tiny little devil had sprouted on Maya's shoulder, talking softly of the perfect revenge on the Koi-loving kiss thief, and how they could accomplish it so flawlessly within this very night.

For starters, she had only to "plant" a few ideas in Yachiru's head, such as how her dad missed her gifts (not true), and how poorly he'd been feeling lately (definitely a lie), and how Yachiru should totally visit more often, since her presence had a delightfully restorative effect on her dad ( absolute bull crap), and how she would be honored to help Yachiru find the best gift ever for Ukitake, who absolutely adored fish, specially Koi fish. Truth be told, it had been almost too easy to lead Yachiru down the path of fish-thievery, which was how they found themselves now fully armed with plastic bags, buckets and other fish-related paraphernalia, ready for the biggest aquatic heist of Sereitei.

They met in the woods behind the Kuchiki grounds at precisely midnight, both dressed in identical cat suits, ready to slink into the Kuchiki complex, courtesy of Yachiru, who claimed Koi hunting was only fun when they dressed the part. In all honesty, Maya had not put up a fight at all when it came to that, loving the look of the funny cat suits, and excited to dress in the weird outfit, if only for this particular adventure. They had checked and rechecked their infiltration plans (which consisted mainly of a poorly drawn picture Yachiru had made in pink crayon), looked for traps and guards, and finally, not seeing either, scaled the back wall of the Kuchiki complex like professional 2nd squad members, agilely and soundlessly, making it to the other side without a problem.

They made their way towards the pond quickly and as quietly as possible, considering Yachiru had picked that time to start "meowing" like a cat, which was apparently part of the whole Koi stealing ritual. When they made their way to the perfect place beside the huge pond, they wasted no time with chitchat, instead, focusing on the fine art of Koi-grabbing. Yachiru, having been doing this now for decades, was decidedly better than Maya, who barely managed to grab 3 fish to Yachiru's 30, which they were collecting in a variety of buckets specially bought for the occasion. Thankfully, the Koi were not huge like the ones in Ugendo, which would have been much harder to transport if that had been the case. Instead, they were much smaller, since the big ones had been transported over the years by the ever efficient Yachiru, who looked delighted with the sport at the moment, meowing happily with each Koi she fished out, Maya noticed, grinning at the pink-haired cutie.

They were both so intent in catching the fish, and giggling at each other's kitty imitations, that neither noticed the shadow that had been intently moving towards them for quite sometime now, until he was right on top of them. Yachiru, being much more used to these midnight forays, grabbed two buckets and sped away in a flash, barely leaving a reatsu trace for anyone to follow . Maya on the other hand, stood still like a guppy out of water, caught red-handed ( or fish handed ) by an angry looking Byakuya, who stood right above her, staring at her, and the poor Koi she had in her hands, with murder in his eyes.

"This is not what it looks like!" Maya exclaimed, at a loss at what to say exactly.

"Maya-san. Pray explain what this is then." he said calmly, although his eyes still spoke of bloody murder.

"Uh...would you believe if I told you I was checking the Koi for... fish diseases?" she asked, wincing at her weak explanation.

"I see. Fish diseases?" he repeated calmly, although she could tell he was not in the least calm, the tell-tale twitch in his eye jumping at her, even in the poor moonlit pond.

"Yes. Apparently...there's a f-fish disease that's decimating the Koi population of Sereitei." she stuttered, making it up as she went, scared of the unholy light in his eyes, "Yes, exactly, its c-called... Spottilitis...yeap, it's when Koi start developing Spots, which turn them into...fish-zombies within days, feeding on other Koi, and eventually attacking helpless, unsuspecting people who might be walking close to the pond!" she said, excited now that she had managed a plausible explanation.

She got excited too soon, she regretted, gulping nervously. It was obvious, by the twitch in his eye, and the hand he brought up to his forehead, as if to hold himself together, that he was not falling for her "good samaritan" routine, although she thought it was a perfectly good explanation, in her opinion.

"Don't you want to defend the Kuchiki clan against this horrible, terrible disease? What kind of monster would I be if I neglected to check your fish for-" she started, acting offended, but stopped immediately when he brought one hand up to silence her.

"Maya-san. Spare me. Please return my Koi to the pond." he said, gritting his teeth in an honest effort to keep from choking her,

"But, the zombies!" she exclaimed, now totally into her own lie.

"Maya!" he said firmly, giving her his best glare.

She rolled her eyes, and dumped the few Koi she had acquired back in the pond, knowing that when he glared like that, it was because he was a millisecond away from going Bankai on someone's ass.

"Fine, sheesh. I hope they don't eat your-" she mumbled,

"Silence!" he shouted, and with that turned back, walking slowly in the direction of the buildings in the distance. Maya was astounded that he would just leave her like that, in his garden, by his pond, without even a proper lecture, or some sort of explosion of temper. Instead, he was walking away from her, not caring that his fish could very well attack her and eat her alive (well, they wouldn't but he didn't know that, for certain, did he?). She huffed, mad he would so easily walk away from her, even after kissing her stupid yesterday, and being dumped on a pond. Even after she tried to steal his precious Koi...how dare he? Outraged at the lack of... regard for her person, she picked up the nearest rock, and threw it at his back, too angry to think of the consequences. He stopped immediately when the rock made contact with his Haori, falling sadly to the ground with a "ploink" after making contact with his back. She gulped when he stopped, a sure sign he was not amused. He didn't even bother turning back, merely asking softly, yet dangerously,

"Did you just throw a rock at me, Maya-san?" he murmured, stopping cold on his tracks, waiting her response.

"Yeah, I did. Whatcha gonna do, bully? Nobody walks away from me like that. How very rude!" she told him in a courageous voice, although she wanted nothing more than to run away and hide.

He turned around, and walked back towards her, anger apparent in his slate colored eyes and his predatory walk. She cringed, but maintained her stance, too pissed off at the stupid man to back away, like a smarter person would do at a moment like this. He stopped walking only when he was nose to nose with her, having to bring his head down to intimidate her, and her having to stretch her neck fully to meet his angry eyes,

"Don't make me lose my temper, Maya-san. I will promise you that you won't like it." he whispered, staring intently into her jade-green eyes, which were sparking with anger and excitement.

"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do, you big bully? Hit me?" she spat, narrowing her eyes at him, not sure where she was getting the balls to stand up to him, but liking the fire in his eyes notheless.

"Worse." he whispered, and with that, grabbed her forcefully, crushing his lips against her, punishing her many transgressions with one mind-melding kiss, forcing upon her just how utterly dangerous he could be to her sanity, and her very heart, instead of just her sorry hide. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make the fight leave her body. Unfortunately, the fight came right back seconds later, but unfortunately too late, when he parted his lips from her, and gave her the tiniest of smiles, before throwing her into the pond, and walking away, waving good night as he made his way home, leaving a wet, raging mad Maya stuck in the pond, surrounded by confused Koi.

**OOOooooOOOooo now Maya has just cause to exact even better revenge. Let's hope it doesn't result in another midnight swim ! **


	11. vengeful afternoon

A/N: Come on peeps, I need some well thought plans for revenge here. I'm skimming the bottom of the pond here (aha, get it, get it, the pond...!#) ...well, as always, I hope this manages to entertain everyone out there. Special thanks to Jenny, and her splendid mike check, Melina, who has wisely decided to not call the canon po-po, and Shadow, who dropped by to leave a review !

The rest of youse, you better get cracking and catch up, so I can name drop you here too ! :)

xoxoxo

Disclaimer: Don't make me go Bankai on your ass, T.K.

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><p><span>Vengeful Afternoon <span>

The next day, Maya still couldn't believe her luck. Not only had operation "Liberate the Koi" failed, (well, at least her part of it, Yachiru still got away with over forty fish, who were now happily living in Ugendo with their cousins), but to top it all of, the damn...err...darn man had managed to not only exact his revenge on her by dumping her into the pond, he had also: 1) stolen another kiss 2) given her a cold.

The day just couldn't get any worse, in Maya's opinion. Not only she was stuck at Ugendo, since her dad did not want her to go to work with a cold, and being her captain, he had the right to keep her from the 13th, but she was also stuck with an annoying, sniffling, unbecoming cold, and a still throbbing shoulder. And it was all stupid Byakuya's fault! That good-for-nothing, uncaring, kiss-stealing bully ! Who, not only had managed to almost destroy her carefully constructed plans for future dates with his swim in the pond, but had also taken liberties with her person, stealing not one, but two kisses. Not that the kisses had been bad, Maya contemplated, thinking of how wonderfully warm and soft his lips had been, but still...he didn't even kiss her for the right reasons! Not because he was hopelessly attracted to her charms, and couldn't stay away from her, or because he was too enamorated of her wonderful kitty costume...no, he had kissed her to shut her up, and then to punish her! What kind of wicked, evil person does that? Byakuya Kuchiki apparently did, or so it would seem.

Lying in her bed, angrily thinking of all the different ways she would exact revenge on him, her eyes happened to catch the camera the SWA had lent to her back when they were doing an expose on the 8th squad's drinking parties, and the general lack of pants of some of the party-goers at the end of the events... they had in fact gotten some pretty interesting shots of Kira and Shuuhei in their undies, which had gathered a lot of attention from the female population of Sereitei, but had also provided them with enough funds to pay for their vacation to the real world last spring. Eyeing the camera evilly, Maya started thinking up ideas on how to mess with Byakuya, starting today. If she couldn't get out of Ugendo to wage full blown war, she could at least start sowing the seeds of discord in his mind.

"He will rue the day he decided to mess with Maya Ukitake" she said to herself, although in truth, because of her cold, it sounded more like _he will wooe de day he dezided to mez wif Maya Ukitake._

Hours later, a satisfied, if slightly feverish Byakuya received a thin package in his office, with no forwarding address. Curious, and too arrogant to think it could be anything threatening, he opened it anyway. A variety of photos slid from the package, to fall on his desk. A feeling of foreboding went through him, but he was too curious to stop himself. Picking up the photos, and looking at them, his expressions went from curiosity, to shock, to annoyance, to downright anger. The pictures, innocent at first, were of the Ugendo Koi pond, and some of it's more illustrious inhabitants. Namely, all the Koi that had gone missing from his own state over the decades. In the pictures, a red-nosed Maya made sure to somehow insert her face, even going as far as pretending to kiss one of the bigger fish, much to his disgust. With barely contained anger, he got up from his chair, and slammed the pictures in his desk, scaring his lieutenant, who had been occupied in the corner with some paperwork, who looked at him with a mixture of fear, and surprise. Giving his lieutenant a cold, "do not speak" stare, he sat back down, and decided that payback was imminent, and more than just. He spent the rest of the day concocting many plans to get back at the ridiculous menace, who had apparently not learned her lesson with yesterday's display.

He was still working on his devious plan, when another package arrived for him, this time, what appeared to be dinner. He frowned, thinking he had not ordered dinner yet, but accepted it anyway, opening the package to inspect the much needed meal, thinking maybe his lieutenant, or even Rukia had thought to send him something over, since he sometimes forgot to feed himself when preoccupied with Gotei business. Opening the bento box, he noticed it was beautifully prepared sushi, and hungrily,he decided to dig in, since he had, after all, skipped lunch. It was only halfway through the meal that he noticed the paper that was attached to the inside of the bento box, a small, folded note. Curiously, he picked it up, dreading the worse. In the note, a simple paragraph, guaranteed to not only make him lose his appetite, but giving him enough motive to kill that CURSED MENACE|!

"_Dear Byakuya," _it read,_ "I hope you are enjoying the specially prepared FISH I have taken the time to make. Do you recognize it's distinct taste? Feels like a piece of home, doesn't it? Sincerely, Maya"_

He cursed out loud, getting up to throw the damned meal away, for a second forgetting that his damned lieutenant was still in the room, now cowering in his desk as if he had been the one to feed him his own Koi. Thinking it was about time he started exacting sweet revenge on the obnoxious, vengeful sprite, he left his office, not even bothering to say goodbye to his lieutenant, who now hid shaking under the desk, thinking Byakuya's anger was directed at him.

He made his way home, a million plans going through his mind, until he settled on one, which was guaranteed to send the spiteful girl over the edge. Deciding that revenge was a plate best served cold, he finished his walk home a lot more calmly, knowing tomorrow would be early enough to start his campaign to bring down the menace. Appetite restored, he decided to see what was being served tonight in the Kuchiki table, praying for once, that it wasn't fish.

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><p><strong>I would just like to point out that no Koi were actually harmed in the making of this episode. The fish Maya sent him were everyday, run of the mill, sushi-grade fish she found in the kitchen, and not any of the precious Koi. She just wanted to scare him, not scar him for life. Please review if you think it was evil anyway ! :)<strong>


	12. Rumor Mill

A/n:  I got nothing. =)

Disclaimer: I got nothing :)

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><p><span>Rumour Mill <span>

The next day found Byakuya's arm on a sling. Why his arm would be on a sling was the subject on everyone's mouth in Sereitei: what could have possibly happened to the fearsome captain, to cause him injury? Everyone, from other captains to seated officer, to nobles, or brand-new recruits were commenting on it, curious as to what could have possibly have happened. A few brave souls even approached said man to ask, innocently enough, if he had come into contact with a fearless foe, perhaps one of the escaped espada that were still rumoured to be loose in the world. The man neglected to answer, a small, careful smile on his lips the only clue he was willing to leave. Eventually, someone brought up the fact that he had indeed, gone out with Maya Ukitake to the SWA ball, and in case you didn't know, the girl happened to be cursed. So, whatever had happened, it was natural to conclude that it had something to do with the curse, and that even the ever brave, powerful captain of the 6th had fallen prey to the curse's devious clutches. And so the rumour mill got started, everyone adding their own two cents to the story, contributing their "knowledge" as it were, letting the rumour grow exponentially. Byakuya refused to comment on it, letting the whole thing take shape all on its own, knowing that silence was the absolute best thing he could offer.

By late afternoon Kiyone had heard from Isane, who had heard it from a shy Hanataro, who had in turn heard from Yumichika, who had the information passed on to him by Kira, who had heard it over sake with Shuuhei at the bar, who heard it from the seventh seat of the 9th, who had heard it from his friend, who worked at the 6th, who had apparently, seen his captain limping around, missing an arm, and with a disfigured face, all courtesy of his date with the "menace". Kiyone, of course, being a loyal friend ( much, much more loyal than Sentaro, she'll have everyone know), had to tell Maya, who had been busy all day down in the training grounds, overseeing the training of some unseated fresh recruits, completely oblivious to the fall of her temporary reputation as a "dateable" woman of Sereitei. So, she approached the exhausted girl tentatively at the end of the day, dreading having to be the bearer of bad news, but knowing she had the right to know what was being discussed by every single soul of Sereitei. Wisely, she waited until the girl put down her zanpaktou, and came over to grab a drink, wiping her sweaty brow, to pull her aside and give her the deets.

"WHAT?" Maya shouted, while reaching for her zanpaktou, which was thankfully, across the room, and not sheathed in her waist.

"Calm down. Jeez. It's just gossip. I just thought I'd let you know before...someone else does." Kiyone told her, motioning for her to keep her voice down, lest someone else overhears them and add to the gossip mill.

"What do you mean, he's blind, missing an arm and a leg, and with half of his body burned?" she whispered furiously, not for a second believing what Kiyone was telling her.

"Well, that's the rumour anyway. I doubt it's true. I know you're not cursed, Maya." Kiyone said, patting the girl comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Of course it's not true. I just saw him two days ago, and he was in perfect health. Catching a cold, maybe, but that's about it. This is utter nonsense." she told the girl, who looked mortified at having to be the one to tell her the news.

"You mean, the same cold you had yesterday?" the girl asked slyly, not missing a thing.

"No, a different cold, Kiyone. Honestly, even you? Et tu, Brutus?" Maya asked, annoyed at the turn the conversation had taken. Kiyone giggled, shaking her head,

"No, of course not. Sorry, Maya, I was just...curious... I stand by your side, of course. Only silly people would think you're cursed. I bet Sentaro does." Kiyone said, looking for the man who was usually glued to her side, but was curiously absent this very moment.

"I'm sure he doesn't, Kiyone, but still, it hurts that everyone else seems to think so. And I can't believe the guts of that...gaaah... just wait till he sees what I have in store for him! No more missus nice Maya, I say." Maya stated with conviction, bringing her arm up to point at the Sky, ready to take arms, and invade the Kuchiki manor, to prove to the world she had not, in fact, hurt him...yet.

"Easy, easy, first... let's find out if he is, in fact, hurt." Kiyone said, bringing Maya's arm down, hoping no one noticed the stance.

"Of course he's not!" Maya retorted angrily, "Let's go, Kiyone, we have a lying bully to confront!" Maya said, bringing up her arm again, and marching in the direction of the doors that lead to the exit of the 13th. Kiyone, figuring she was better off at least keeping an eye on the crazed girl, followed her, although she was absolutely, positively certain that only bad things were bound to happen from here on.

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><p><strong>Rumours are a nasty, nasty thing, aren't they? Lemme know what's the worst rumor you can think of to pay Byakuya back for his nasty prank ! <strong>


	13. showdown at the 6th

A/n: Hm. Virtual cookies getting tossed in Starlight's direction, who went through the trouble to review a bunch of chappies. Yeay for ya!

Amber, I love your idea of the bun in the oven, but I think I'll save it for future chappies, at least for the time being... although I've already thought up like, a million gazillion things that I could do with that. For now, however, I hope you peeps out there enjoy another battle royale! And please, please, PLEASE review. Don't make me say please again, I've been saving them for Tite Kubo (damn you, Tite Kubo). Lemme know what you think so far of the story, I love to hear some good-old feedback from everybody, even if it is to flame my story...although I must say I've been pretty flame-free, which is kind of weird, considering how many times I've misspelled Yoruichi, amongst other fascinating thingamajigeez. Also, I'd like to leave a shout-out to the Canon Po-Po, who I have been bribing with laundered money to stay away from me, and my stories.

Disclaimer: Can you give me Bleach, so we can celebrate the cinco de Mayo without this awkwardness between us, Tite? Come, on, have some cajones, will ya? Gracias, amigo.

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><p><span>Showdown at the 6th <span>

Maya stormed into the 6th squad barracks, uncaring that she was being given horrified glances as she went through the corridors, and that some people even dispersed at the sight of her, running away as if somehow they would catch the plague if they were exposed to the same air as her. _If only, if only, _was all she thought, angry that this was obviously where all the gossip had started, no thanks to the horrible man who led this superstitious lot.

She finally reached his office, and with a menacing look sent running the poor officer that had been sitting there, acting as "secretary". Not bothering to knock, she slammed the door open, pointing at the horrid man that had, indeed, ruined her life, and her hopes for a happy future.

"YOU!" she screamed, pointing at said man sitting behind his desk, not bothering to even glance at the terrified lieutenant that took to hiding under his own desk which was set to the side, the moment the door slammed open.

"Maya-san, how can I help you? Pardon me if I don't get up, my wounded shoulder, as you can see." he answered calmly, watching the red-faced girl huff and puff, privately loving how out of control she was, but refusing to show any emotion.

"Bastard!" she shouted, prompting one of those odious eyebrows to raise mockingly in her direction.

"I would rather you not insult my parentage, Maya-san. Now, is there anything I can do for you?" he continued just as calmly, as if talking about the weather.

"You KNOW very well what I'm doing here!" she yelled, going a little wild-eyed at his lack of reaction, wanting to pretty much jump him and wipe that stupid look off his face with her own claws, err...nails.

"Hm, I regret I don't. However, I can see you are clearly upset, so... You" he said, pointing to the terrified man under the table, who was shaking like a leaf, "begone. You may come back later, if you so wish." he was barely finished, and the guy was already at the door, bowing quickly before hightailing it out of there, as quick as his feet could carry him."Kiyone, you may leave as well" he said in direction of the door, where surely, Kiyone could be found, gaping at the scene before her.

"Hmm. I t-think-, perhaps...uhm. I-I, I s-should maybe k-keep an eye on Ma-" the nervous girl stuttered, only to be silenced by a increasingly angry-looking Maya, who turned around to shoo her, knowing she couldn't really let loose on Byakuya if Kiyone was there to spy, err, observe.

Kiyone left pouting, since she was certain that whatever was to happen, either they would need a witness on the crime scene, or someone to surgically remove teeth from another's body part. Either way, it would make for great gossi-, I mean, historically accurate telling of events.

Maya shut the door and moved closer to Byakuya so she wouldn't have to shout, knowing Kiyone would be right behind the damn door to take note of anything that could be overheard, and pointed one dainty finger in his face:

"How dare you make up that I had something to do with that...fake shoulder injury! Now I'll never, ever, ever, eeeveeer get a date again. Ever. And it's all your fault." she whispered furiously, shaking said finger in his face.

"I never stated any such thing. I don't see why I should share private information with the masses, after all. If anyone were to assume anything... I can assure you, Maya-san, I did not, at any point in time impart any information whatsoever that would lead anyone to think you had something to do with this." he said, his good hand pointing towards the arm that was in a sling, a tiny, almost invisible curve to his lips that others would discard easily, but which she knew was a full blown spiteful smile, at least in the "Byakuya smile scale", which she had privately created for her own amusement.

"You creep! You know very well that by keeping silent, the rest of the world would assume the worst. And you just sat back, and let it happen!" she retorted, still whispering, although the last few words came out as a shout as she got gradually angrier.

"Again, you overestimate your importance in my life, Maya-san. What makes you think I would even think twice about you, or any such thing?" he continued, raising one eyebrow quizzically in her direction.

_Stop with the stupid eyebrow!_, she shouted in her head, knowing it was futile to shout it at him. "Because you were pissed off I fed you your own Koi?" she said with fake sweetness, wanting to get under his skin.

He didn't answer, although she could see the tell-tale angry flush that rose up his neck, as well as the effort he had to make to unclench his teeth, before he snapped or broke something with the force.

"Ha! You believed it, didn't you? As if I would do something so vulgar, and hurt the poor Koi from Ugendo. That was common grade sushi, you ninny! Don't tell me you ate it?" watching his reaction, she doubled down laughing, knowing indeed, he had eaten at least some of it before finding her note. "You did ! That's classic! No wonder you were mad enough to...RUIN MY LIFE!" she shouted the last bit, anger rising up again at the thought of the stares and whispers she would have to field now for the rest of her existence.

"I see you have a sick, twisted sense of humor, on top of obvious lack of common-sense and sanity." he stated coldly, giving her another chilling glare, clenching his fists so as to not strangle the demented beauty in front of him.

"I bet you're not even hurt, are you? How did you get hurt, Byakuya?" Maya asked, crossing her arms in front of him, daring him to make up another lie.

"I suffered extreme food poisoning, after eating bad sushi. It made me stumble, and I hit my shoulder." he said snidely, glaring at her still.

"Liar!" she said, putting both hands on his desk and leaning in, bringing her face closer to his to stare him in the eye, unafraid of his ferocious, talkative eyebrows, or his killing stare.

"Prove it." he dared, bringing his own face closer to give her a proper stare-down.

She did the last thing he would ever, ever in a million years imagine her doing. But then again, so like her to do the unexpected. With a huff, she literally threw herself over the table, and into him, kissing him passionately, robbing him him of thought, speech... he didn't even remember his own name. Instead, the kiss she gave him was so carnal, and seductive, it made him groan, bringing his arms up to hold her closer, lost in the passion of the moment. She kissed him like the world was ending, and at a loss, he kissed her back, throwing in all his anger and unsolicited lust into the kiss...that is, until she violently broke it up, pushing him back as she pulled herself up, to look at him.

"There's your proof, stupid. I bet you couldn't grab on to me quite so passionately if your shoulder was, indeed, hurt!" she said with a grin, pointing to the arm, that was in fact, wrapped around her waist, holding her against him in the chair they were both occupying. Or rather, he was, since she was occupying merely his lap. Dumbstruck, he could only stare at her, unsure how exactly she had...turned this whole thing around. Angry, frustrated, and with a serious case of a hard-on, he did the only thing he could think of:

He got up, bringing her with him, moved to the side window by his desk, opened it with the same "injured" arm that had been holding her, and tossed her out on her butt on the street, not caring for one second if half of Sereitei saw it. Slamming the window shut, locking it, and pulling the drapes, he sat back on his desk, and took a deep, shaky breath, knowing their battle had just gone into full blown war, and gods forgive him, but he felt less scared going against all the espada in the world at once, then he did at the slip of a girl whom he had just tossed out of his office, but sadly, not out of his life.

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><p><strong>And the battle of the sexes continues...what will be next? Ideas, please, always, always welcome! <strong>


	14. Maya Supernova Menace

A/n : as you guys well know today (May 8th/11) is mommy's day ! YEAY for mommies ! So, if there's a mommy out there...happy you day! For the rest of you, if you have a mommy still... get off the net for 5 minutes and go call or hug your mamma ! Then come back, of course, to read this! :)

Thanks Joseey for the idea, I hope that covers it! Don't spend all your time working, leave a little bit for me and Byakuya, kay? Also, Jennyanimelover for the "pink" idea! Not exactly what you had in mind, but definitely inspired on your original idea ! Also, I'd like to thank "unaminous writer" for his/her wonderful review, and assure him/her/them that there will be many instances of full blown romance coming his/her/theirs/our/its way soon. Bear with me a teeny little bit more, and I promise smexy will show up :) Like, all kinds of smexy! If you need a fix in the meantime, read "the Promise"... it has many instances of delightful romps to tide you over, mixed with some creative randomness ! And I refuse to believe that my dreams of conquering the world/acquiring bleach will come to naught. I have a very fragile ego, on top of a ruptured psyche... but the delusions remain firmly in place. so... ssshhh. Let me dream LOL! Also, a shout out to Melina, who's been wonderfully side-tracked with her own stories and Bleach reruns, but who has gracefully allowed me to "skillfully acquire" some great ideas of hers if I so need. Amber, I'm still waiting for my Yoshe/Uki fix. Aham! However, as always, I love your reviews, and your ideas. I'm still working on one of them. In the meantime, I dedicate the concept of maya's 3rd revenge to you, hoping it is close enough !

Disclaimer: TK, I kidnapped your mom. If you wanna see her alive, you better send me the rights to Bleach. And please do it fast, she's been nagging me like crazy to clean my room, pick up my clothes, and cook better. Oh, and she says I'll never find a man unless I dress up more ladylike, and quit swearing and playing video games..."and stop chewing your nails!". Honestly, how do you put up with this?... On second thought, I'll be sending her right back, nevermind bleach.

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><p><span>Maya Supernova Menace Style<span>

Maya let loose, in a way that only the truly insane, or truly inspired can do. And once she had made up her mind to make Byakuya's life a living hell, there was very little anyone could do to slow her down, much less stop her, unfortunately.

Of course, no part of Byakuya's life was left untouched. The first thing to be hit was his office. The next day after the eventful confrontation in his office, a careful Byakuya made his way inside his office, knowing that retribution would be coming from the menace, and that it could strike at any point. He did not however, expect Maya to be so infuriatingly creative, and unbelievably evil... her newest plot was the meanest of them all, and one he wouldn't inflict on his worst foe: somehow, someway, she had gotten all of the paperwork from the past term to be audited, and re-submitted to his office, starting with all the health-code regulation compliance, and ending with inane uniform compliance forms...of every member in his squad. Apparently, it had come to light that somehow signatures had

"disappeared" from every single one of said forms, and needed immediate, prompt attention. Which meant that not only did he have to re-sign every single damn piece of paper he had submitted for every single member of his squad over the course of the past 6 months, he also had to chase down every single member of his squad, including vacationing ones, and the ones stationed throughout the living world, as well as various members designated in Rugonkai, all in order for them to re-sign forms that had already been signed once, but had somehow mysteriously been manipulated, resulting in blank spots where he was certain before existed signatures.

He spent the next week pulling double time in the office, cursing the menace with every single stroke of his pen, having half of his squad going on missions to find the other missing half, all of whom needed to sign something or another, at some point in time. His short nights, however, were even worse: he had nightmares of immense proportions, where every time he turned around, a new pile of paperwork appeared before him, until he was surrounded, and asphyxiated by the mountains of paper, which ended up consuming all of the space available in the room. He would then wake up trashing, in a panic, sweating cold from the sensation of having his very breath taken away by those evil slips. It made him wary of even smelling paper and ink, those same feelings returning during the day as he worked to catch up on all the paperwork. As the week drew to a close however, he managed to finish the odious task, and, with a relieved sigh, he left his office for a much needed night of relaxation, where he could enjoy a pleasurable dinner, perhaps one of his solitary, contemplative walks, and since he felt the need for the "pick-me-up", even a bit of that special sake he'd been saving for a good occasion. And finally, he mused happily, he'd be able to catch up on his sleep, having gone the past week being too busy to steal away for much needed rest during the day, but unable to properly rest during the night. With those thoughts in mind, he made his way to the Kuchiki Complex, his safe haven, his one paradise away from the demands of his office, where he could recharge before planning a full blown attack on that silly brat, guaranteed to make her weep in terror.

His happy, hopeful thoughts did not make it past the gates. Dumbstruck, he could only gape in horror at the sight that greeted him, accompanied by two shame-faced guards who were probably hoping the ground would swallow them whole: in place of the elegant, subdued sign that indicated the "Kuchiki Noble House", a new sign, this made in Neon Pink and Toxic Green, read "Kuchiki's Daycare center, and Petting Zoo". The damn menace had turned his haven into a zoo! Literally! He rushed inside, to check if the sign had been the extent of her meddling. Unfortunately, it had not. As soon as he had gone past the gates, he noticed the distinct smell of...fowl. The horrid, absolute chilling scent that accompanied,he shuddered, Swans, amongst other things. It brought an immediate sneeze attack to the front, and once it had started, it took him a few minutes to calm down long enough to keep walking towards the path of terror that surely awaited him. As he made his way towards the gardens he noticed pigpens, and pony stables, loose chicken pecking among the staple flower beds of the Kuchiki complex, and his pond...! She had somehow taken the last of the Koi ( or so he hoped) before filling the pond with "man-eating zombie fish", or so the warning sign said. Upon closer inspection, he could see they were piranhas, and although angry, if it wasn't for the fact that...woman had turned his life into a living hell, he would applaud her creativity, and ingenious ability to even locate the rare fish.

Almost afraid to continue, but having no other recourse, he kept walking amongst sneezes towards the main house, noticing ducks, sheep, and even._..where did she find an Ostrich?, _he asked himself, as the birded glared at him from his makeshift pen. As he approached the house, he could hear the worse yet... crying babies. He entered his threshold, already fearing the worst. The sight that greeted him was almost worth the hell his life was: his retired grandfather, last head of the noble Kuchiki household, surrounded by screaming, attention-demanding toddlers, while cradling two babies in his arms, singing a lullaby, while alternatively feeding said babies from a bottle!

His eyes beginning to burn, probably due to the sheer absurdity of the situations, and the repetitive sneezing, he didn't even stop to confront his grandfather, and ask what in hell had happened while he was away, instead choosing to go straight to his rooms, lest he get stuck with a baby in arms. He rushed to his room, eager to be away from the insanity, and threw himself inside his own room, locking the door and resting his exhausted body against the door, to catch his breath. It took him a few seconds to notice what she had done... probably due to the fact that he had his eyes momentarily closed, almost too afraid to look at what else had been ruined of his. But the final insult...! The personal touch: she had dyed his room. Everything! Every single piece of clothing, all his extra scarves, his sheets, his walls, his floor...somehow, she had managed to turn every single item into a horrid shade of peptobismol pink! Even the wood of his desk had turned a pink shade somehow!

Too physically tired, mentally exhausted and emotionally drained to kill, which would be what he would probably do as soon as he got his hands on her, he fell upon his bed, not caring what the odious color of his sheets were, as long as they were relatively clean. He fell asleep immediately, where in his dreams he alternatively strangled, and funnily enough, kissed the menace. Tonight, he would rest, tomorrow would be soon enough for revenge. And boy, did she have it coming.

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><p><strong>So, how was that for full blown lunacy? I hope it's enough to satisfy! A weaker man would have broken completely, but Byakuya is too tough for that. Did you think he was OOC? Did you like the ideas? Do you have any fresh, new ideas you think I should use? Do you have random questions? Flames? Need to tell someone about your day? Bored? Boyfriendgirlfriend problems? Need a beta? Need a life? If you said yes to any of these questions, then you better review, yo. Don't make me kidnap your mother too! **


	15. The Pineapple gets Cornered

A/N: Sorry dearests if I haven't updated as often as I usually do. I'm going to be traveling next Monday, and I got lots to do before I leave home, so I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, not that I actually ever saw a chicken do that. That would be gross. Anywho, I just wanna thank Joseey for the brilliant idea, and everyone else who has left reviews to comment, or add their own ideas...I listen and try to incorporate them all, believe me! :)

Melina, Jenny, Amber, Josey, "Every Shadow", and everyone else that has been following, thanks for the support ! I **heart** you !

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo, surrender before I unleash the Kracken!

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><p><span>The Pineapple gets cornered<span>

Maya was cackling with glee bright and early in the morning, a very scary sight for those who knew her well, and knew just what kind of things would make her look so happy, so early in the morning, her usually not being what one would consider a morning person. Her mom and dad were the first to notice, practically cringing at the sight of her so chirpy, but, knowing their daughter rather well, decided to not even comment, knowing that their disapproval would not change her mind, whatever it was that she was planning that made her so perky. So, as Maya cheerily left Ugendo to start her day, stopping by the breakfast room to drop a kiss on their foreheads, they merely waved her goodbye, giving each other worried looks, and sending a silent prayer that whatever she had in mind, it wouldn't be illegal, life-threatening, or considered legally insane.

Maya on the other hand, barely noticed their worried frowns, deciding to focus solely on the positively, absolutely inspired grand master plan she had concocted: if Byakuya "stoopid-face" Kuchiki could ruin her love life, she could ruin his. And that included any possible chance at romance with any woman in Sereitei in the future! Ever! And just how would she do it? She cackled again, scaring the shinigami that were lounging by the common rooms, as she walked by, skipping merrily.

Hers was a clever, yet simple plan: she would ensure his manhood, his very masculinity, was forever, ever tainted, with the nastiest, most horrible dark twisty tidbit, one that would forever hunt his existence. Oh, and then, oh then, he would know exactly how she felt every single time she looked at a group of people and caught them staring and whispering about her, she thought, remembering the sting of their ill-regard. With that offending memory still fresh in her mind, she huffed indignantly, feeling self-righteous, and absolutely just in her conviction that was good for the goose, was good for the male goose, or whatever it was that they called it...she could never remember these silly sayings, and she wondered why she even bothered to use them in her internal debates.

Continuing her sure, confident sprint, she headed towards the 5th, where Captain Abarai was sure to be, rubbing her small hands evilly, all the while scaring shinigami and small children as she passed by, her "true menace" aura probably giving off all kinds of creepy, stay-away vibes. She made it there in record time, probably due to the fact that people were pretty much straying out of her way as soon as they saw her, concerned for their own safety. She entered his office through the side windows, not even bothering with politeness, or any of that crap, knowing that if Renji got word she was there to visit him before she had a chance to corner him, he would most likely escape, and then she would have to spend the rest of the day searching for him, until she ran him down. So, she short-cutted the whole thing, jumping right through the window to stand on top of his desk, with her two feet spread apart, clenched fists on her waist, ready to intimidate the redhead from the very beginning.

Unfortunately, her first plan went flat the minute she noticed he had not even stirred at her "glorious, heroic entrance", him being asleep on top of his desk, in fact, drooling all over what looked to be a... hollow bounty report?, she noticed, coming closer to his face to observe the paper. As she did, she noticed right away the stink of stale booze that drifted off of him, the fumes strong enough to give HER a hangover. Annoyed, she wondered whether there had been another party on the 8th that she had not been invited to. Ever since the whole "leaked naked photos" incident, the men had avoided inviting her, worried their own asses would show up in the next SWA "Hot Shinigami Calendar", which was a best seller across Soul Society, and one of their main sources of income. Angry at the thought that they would party without even bothering to include her, she kicked Renji on the head, a little bit more forcefully than she had actually planned initially. He woke up with a start, swinging fists left and right, until he finally lost his balance and fell out of his chair, and face first on the floor.

"Good morning, sunshine!" she said in a mockingly sweet voice, as loud as she could, hoping it would worsen the pain she was sure he must be feeling right now.

She was right. Bringing both hands to cradle his head, he winced and moaned, a pitiful sight indeed. "Oy, wha... did you catch the espada's name who did this?" he mumbled, groaning on the floor as he tried to gather enough strength to stand on his knees.

"Oh, no espadas. Unless you know of a espada named "Patron", Captain Abarai! You reek of booze! Did you guys party again without me?" she yelled, as he winced and covered his ears.

"Ouch. Oh. Maya. What are you doing here?" he asked, still holding on to his head, looking at her with on eye open only, as if the effort to open both eyes was too much to bear.

"Uh, obviously not enjoying MY hangover as I should be, since you bailed out on me, Renji!" she said, kicking him again for good measure.

He yelped, and got up, rubbing his stomach where she had kicked him. After frowning at her for a minute, which did nothing to make her scared or feel sorry, he swore under his breath and mumbled out: "It wasn't like that, Maya. You know your mom has forbidden us to ask you to these parties, right? And sorry, but she's way scarier than you could ever be... plus, the guys are always worried you're gonna hand their ass on a plate again as you did last time, with that SWA biz." he said, backing away slightly as her eyes got an unholy gleam at the mention of her mom's deviousness.

She huffed, crossed her arms, and huffed again, angry, but not as angry as she had been a minute ago, knowing it wasn't sorely their fault she had been excluded this time around. Plus, she did provide some incriminating photos last time, she mused, remembering how much fun it had been to shoot the two gorgeous captains who had stripped down to their undies back then, and who'd been both too drunk to care that she had a camera pointed in their direction. Deciding to let it go for now, she refocused on the matter at hand, the reason why she had come here after all, choosing to forgo the sure punishment she would inflict on the men for the moment. She had bigger fish to fry for now, and on top of her "to do" list was Byakuya, and she intended to make sure he got his just rewards for what he had done to her. She looked at Renji excitedly, remembering her purpose for the visit, smiling confidently at him, knowing he was the perfect accomplice to her nefarious plans, and that she had more than enough dirt on him to make him comply.

He gulped audibly, seeing her glowing face, a promise of bad things to come. Backing away slowly, he tried to put enough distance between the two of them, feeling surely as helpeless prey must feel when confronted with a hungry, sharply clawed feline, who licks its lips and shows sharp white teeth before jumping in for the kill. He watched in horror as she slowly turned her neck to the side, a purely predatory look on her face.

"Oh, Renji! I have the perfect favor to ask you. If you say yes, I promise I'll never bother you about the parties again." she said sweetly, smiling beatifically, her very tone sending chills down his spine.

"Maya...whatever it is, I'm saying no already." he said, gulping again, his mouth suddenly dry with fear.

"Aw. But you haven't even heard it yet..." she pouted, bringing her hands to rest on her waist.

"Hmm. Okay, fine. What do you want?" he asked shakily, knowing he should have just ran while he had the chance, but had been too curious, and hungover to try the physical activity as he should have.

"Oh, nothing much, mind you." she said matter-of-factly, momentarily looking up and away, with an almost innocent look in her face. However, he knew her better than that, and merely stood his ground, waiting for the bomb, "Just a teeny little favor. I just need you to pretend someone is...say... interested in you. You know, romantically. You don't even have to pretend that you are interested back!" she said, smiling at him becomingly, while twirling her fingers.

"Uh, huh... and who is she? I don't know if this is a good idea, Maya. You know I don't like hurting the ladies, even if they are deserving. It goes against my code, you know." he said, frowning at her, worried she wanted to play some sort of petty jealousy game with another woman, one of those games women seemed to enjoy concocting.

Her smile turned even brighter, "Oh, dearest, don't worry, you won't have to hurt any women." she told him softly, "In fact, this is guaranteed to save a lot of ladies the hassle of having to deal with a certain cold someone one." she explained, grinning evilly, "It's not a she. It's a he. I want you to pretend Byakuya Kuchiki is in love with you, and has been pursuing you ardently for the past century." she said easily.

Renji's face was priceless. He had been shocked many times throughout his long life, so seriously surprised... In the line of duty, he had seen so much, and gone through so much, he sometime felt even jaded. He had been asked to make hard decisions from time to time, and fight against his best friends even. He had been close to death so many times. He thought he had gone through it all. Oh, how wrong he was... what this...demon... was asking him to do was absolutely the evillest, meanest thing he had ever been asked to do, and that included capturing his best friend and love of his life. ...And funnily enough, he kind of wanted to help. Gods knew why, but the thought of putting Byakuya Kuchiki in the hot seat for once kind of amused him, and he'd be damned if she hadn't guessed so from the very beginning. With a still dumbstruck face, he blindly searched for his chair, found it, and sat down, willing to hear out the menace, all the while knowing he was signing a deal with the devil.

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><p><strong>This is just down right evil, isn't it?I wonder how Byakuya will react. Will he fight back? Or cry like a girl? I guess you gotta review to find out ^wink wink ^! Lemme know what you thought of this bit, and what you are thinking of the story so far ! Please? I promise virtual cookies, and even muffins. Scones are also available upon request. I need feedback, otherwise my fragile ego will shatter, and I'll never have enough strength to go Bankai on TK's ass. So, review. Or else, I'll go bankai on your ass! Xoxo !<strong>


	16. Private Moments

A/N: Jello ever-body ! In case anyone is interested, I'll be re-locating to Brazil for a bit (I'm in Canada ), so I probably won't be updating for a few days between Sunday and probably Wednesday! Jenny, I felt sorry for Renji too, it seems this guy is always choosing the rockiest path huh? Where's the easy button when he needs it...still, how very much like Renji to damn the risks, and go for it, right? The guy does have a death wish, I swear ! Joseey: All your ideas are super awesome, even if I can't always use them cause they don't exactly fit the subplot...still, I try my best, since I generally love them! Keep them coming, sistah. And we are all eagerly cheering for your first fanfic. Just stay off the trampoline, and hopefully you'll be able to finish in no time ! Shadow: No, YOU'RE amazing ! :) Thanks, and I sure hope they won't kill one another, since that would totally leave me without a couple to write about hee hee, but hey, wouldn't be the first time I accidentally kill someone in my stories...!Сергі́й : Thanks for the amazing review, and I hope the story will keep amusing you for a while. And hopefully, the flirting won't be innocent for too long LOL ! Sorry 'bout the grammatical mistakes, I tend to rush and post sometimes without reading it twice, so bear with me. Feel free to always point them out if you see something because I can always go back and fix it if it is absolutely horrid, and it's a great way to improve, since as writers we tend to not notice certain things that are absolutely obvious to someone else!

Also, cookies and muffins for everyone! ( throws them in the air Walt Disney style )

Disclaimer: TK, it's Like Bob Marley said, one love, one heart. So, let's love Bleach together, and be alright.

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><p><span>Private Moments <span>

After spending hours concocting her devious plan with her new, albeit reluctant partner in crime Renji, Maya was ready for the final touches before launching her newest plan of attack. All she needed now was some sort of personal token of his, and perhaps some writing paper with the Kuchiki Household stamp, to seal the deal. She would then write a lovesick letter in his handwriting to the love of his life, "Renji", stating that he thinks they should be together and assume their mutual love. Renji's part would be to "discover" the letter in the most public of places, and make sure others "saw" the tender, private message. All she needed to make it stick would be something that indicated the letter couldn't possibly be a fake, such as a personal touch that could only come from him... so, once again, she had to infiltrate the Kuchiki manor using the secret tunnels Yachiru had built eons ago, the locations of which had been shared with Maya back in the days when they used to sneak in to bother him for candy.

She infiltrated through the tunnels that were the closest to his private rooms, thinking it would be just as easy as it had been last time to enter his bedroom, and ste-, err, liberate the necessary artifacts. As she arrived in front of the outside door that led to his sleeping quarters, she realized two things: First, he had made sure to lock the door to his bedroom this time around. Secondly, even if she managed to get in, everything had been recently turned pink, due to her previous "prank", or as she liked to call it, "Justice Act", and would be of no help in her latest plan. Grumbling under her breath, she decided then to try her luck somewhere else instead, making her way towards his private offices, where she was bound to find some sort of trinket, as well as paper with his personal stamp. She made her way through the outside path quietly, as stealthy as a thief, tiptoeing through the numerous doors that led to different rooms, one of them which was sure to be his office. She peeked through them as she went, looking out for signs of anyone who might find her out, as well as anything she could possibly use. As she approached one of the last doors, she was surprised to find the very man she was conspiring against, lost in concentration as if meditating, on his knees, his back turned towards the door...

She approached the door as quietly as she could, masking her reatsu just in case he noticed her presence, trying to get through so she could keep searching...until she noticed he was not merely meditating, but praying. She had somehow found the room he reserved as a shrine to his late wife, and he was at this very moment, paying his respects. The sight made her pause momentarily, as she took notice of the portrait of his late wife, whom seemed to be staring straight at her, the woman's hauntingly beautiful expression frozen in time, as if she had been thinking of a bittersweet moment. Noticing her eyes, and his stance on the floor, Maya suddenly felt ridiculously guilty, caught spying on what could only be described as an extremely intimate, private moment. She turned around slowly, deciding to leave, when she heard his voice.

"I'm so sorry, Hisana" he said in a low voice, clearly speaking to his dead wife's portrait, which took center stage in the tasteful shrine that had been built on the back wall. It made her freeze on the spot, the raw emotion she heard in his voice stopping her on her tracks. She turned to watch him again, feeling like the lowest of the low, but at the same time unable to back away from the scene.

"I wish...I hope you are at peace, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I miss you still... but...I'm only a man. I succumbed, and I let myself down. I dishonored myself, and your memory... And now, she tortures me. It's inexcusable, my actions... I know!I brought this upon myself because of my own weakness-, I must suffer the consequences I fear; it will serve to remind me to never succumb again." he said, in an apologetic, remorseful tone. Maya inched closer to the door, struggling to hear the faint one-sided conversation that was taking place.

"I... I lost my control, after all these years... I kissed that... I kissed Maya" he said, shaking his head despondently, "and... now I'm being punished for my lack of control. She's punishing me in your stead, if it eases your mind." he continued, in a sorrowful voice. Maya felt like a microbe for causing him so much emotional turmoil. Physical and mental discomfort, sure, but seeing him reduced to this...it made her uncomfortable, and... sad for him, and the feelings he'd been burying all these years, the guilt and the love that looked to be tearing him to bits, all of which he's dealt with alone all these years.

"I tried all these years to honor your memory. We always knew I would have to eventually remarry, and I had hoped to find a woman whom I felt nothing for, except respect and perhaps in time, a tenuous friendship. I would do my duty, and produce and heir, but... never let anyone replace you in my hear, even though I was never in your heart to begin with. I promised to love you forever, didn't I?" he told the picture hoarsely, staring intently at it. Maya had the suspicion he was close to tears, if that was even possible for the cold, unemotional Kuchiki heir...but his voice... it had that raw, rough quality that could only associated it with overflowing emotion. Still, she couldn't be sure, as he had his back towards her, and she thought that she might be imagining the whole thing. She couldn't however, deny the pain the words expressed.

"I haven't let her, or anyone take your spot, I don't think...I don't know. However, I must admit, I craved her. So very much... I looked at her, and somehow...I forgot myself. She made me feel like I was seventeen again, reacting to her wiles without thought. She reminds me of those younger times, before...everything... before duty and before you, before I joined the Gotei...when I could just be like her, and do as I felt, without regards to anything. I miss that. Of all people, she was the one that made me desire again all kinds of things which have been forbidden for me. Her love for life...her youthfulness... I let my guard down, lulled in by her vivaciousness, and her defense of me. It had been so long since anyone saw me for other than what I represent... But... I-, it was wrong. I am the head of the Kuchiki household. I am a captain of the Gotei. And I forgot myself, forgot my duty to my family, to my office, and to you. So, I apologize." he said, sounding so broken, it brought tears to Maya's own eyes, giving rise to all kinds of things that she never would have admitted to otherwise.

Listening to his honest, heartfelt admission made Maya admit, if only to herself, why she had reacted so strongly to him, and why she had taken everything so strongly to heart: she liked him. Like, really, liked him. Much before the whole cursed business, and before the date...she had always admired him as a child, and thought of him as her prince, and her childish regard had somehow evolved into a teenage crush, and finally, into female lust. She had considered him the only option to take to that ball not just because he'd been the only man who fell into the specific criteria...but because he'd been the only man she was undeniably attracted to, even though she had tried so many times to muster enough interest in other men. He'd been her first crush as a girl, and when she had managed to get him to go out on that date with her...a tiny part of her had imagined they would end up falling for one another, and he would be hers, a fairy-tale happy ending. And then, he had kissed her that first time, and it had thrilled and delighted her...until that is, he told her he had kissed her only to shut her up. It had hurt her immensely: that she had seen fireworks with that amazing kiss, only have the harsh reality thrown in her face immediately after, that he considered her nothing but a nuisance that must be dealt with, even if it meant that he must kiss her to do so. If she were to be honest with herself, she had thrown him into that pond on impulse, and she had acted that way not because of the the liberties he took, but because she had felt hurt and betrayed by him afterward with that comment, as if that kiss had meant nothing to him, and foolishly, she had wanted to strike back.

Now, hearing him speak so candidly, she felt like an irresponsible, hurtful child. She had never thought of herself as being someone capable of being petty and mean...and the realization stung. That she had brought this proud, beautiful man to his knees bothered her profoundly, at just how low she had sunk: to hurt someone she had always respected and admired, for no other reason other than pettiness. And now, because of her, he suffered, thinking all her childish pranks were somehow divine retribution for a moment of justified weakness, one he had a right to after decades spent alone, without female company, without an outlet for his loneliness and his desires, an unnatural state for virile, healthy man such as him, who oozed more sex-appeal unconsciously than Zaraki oozed reatsu.

As she watched, while still reeling from all the things she had just learned about herself, he 'd continued talking softly to Hisana's portrait, telling her little things about his day, content to have someone to talk to, even if it was only the ghost of a woman who had been long gone, and never forgotten. It made Maya wonder how often he did that, and it made her learn something else vital about Byakuya... he was lonely, and without any friends to share even the smallest of things. Being on top, of both his noble house, and his career, had made him become utterly isolated from everyone who may have been a friend to him at some point, and to distance himself emotionally from even his own family, who looked to him not only as a relative, but as a leader, whose duty was to solve any and all matters, and behave as a modicum of propriety at all times. The closest, and only friend he had ever had was Hisana, who had never loved him in life as he had loved her, but whom had stayed in his memory after her passing to become someone who listened to him, and let him be himself. Her memory provided him what she hadn't provided in life: companionship, friendship, and someone with whom he could just be, without worrying what the world would think. It made Maya want to be that person for him, to give him a real friend and confidant, be someone he could rely on, and open up to, instead of the portrait of a woman who was long gone.

However, she had ruined her chances by behaving like a totally spoiled brat, alienating him to the extreme, turning his very life upside down. It may be too late to gain his friendship and respect, but the least she could do was return his life back to normal,the way it was before she had it turned upside down with her desperate attempts to make him notice her, and react, even if in anger. Resolving to halt all her pranks and plots and plans immediately, she made her way back towards the tunnel she had taken to come into the complex, all the while thinking about everything she would have to deal with, specially the damn piranhas which had been so hard to find in the first place. She slinked off like the slimiest of all insects, calling herself all kinds of names, all the while thinking about the air of despair that had clung to Byakuya's frame, the defeated set of his shoulders, and how she had managed to hurt the once proud, beautiful prince she had sworn to make only smile when she was a kid. She hoped that whatever damage she had caused him, she could somehow make up for it, and perhaps one day, she could make him smile again, if only in passing.

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><p><strong>Aw, Maya, you're getting soft. Still, finally a bit of heart from the menace right? Sorry to those that hoped she would forever torture him, I promise she will continue at some point, but for now, let's give love a chance. I sure hope Byakuya wasn't too OOC, mainly because I thought it unlikely that he would speak to anyone about what was inside him...still, I imagine he would have at least one outlet, and I imagine this to be it...! If you disagree, or agree, or if you're unsure, or you wanna talk about the weather, or you are perhaps wondering...where the hell does Joseey find a trampoline... well, leave a review. Or else, I'll release the Kracken on you too !<strong>


	17. Movin' and Shakin'

A/n: I dreamed this chappy. Just putting it out there! :) Thanks to everyone who left reviews for the last chappy, and I apologize if I made you cry, or something like that. I'm glad you liked it though, since it was one of the few chappies I felt iffy about! Also, thanks to everyone who`s been keeping up with my story, even if you don`t have time/inclination to review the chappies. I beg of you though, be a little more nike, and just do it. I would love to hear from the quiet crowd out there, and hear some of your random thoughts and concerns. You know who you are (points finger).

Yeay for Joseeey and Jenny, both whom decided to write their first fanfics. We are all eagerly waiting girls !

Disclaimer : Dear Tite Kubo, just thought I'd let you know I'm relocating to Brazil shortly, in case you wanna send me the rights to Bleach. If you still decide to hold on to it, I thought I'd just remind you that piranhas are indigenous to Brazil, and I hear you love taking baths. So, it's out there. You think real hard, okay?

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><p><span>Movin' and Shakin' <span>

Maya worked diligently for the next two days to reverse all her pranks in place, as well as halt the ones that hadn't come to fruition yet. She had to deal with a relieved, yet oddly sulky Renji, who had been fearing for his life as much as he had been looking forward to the prank, then the research center of the 12th squad, numerous shinigami from the 6th who had been helping her, Yachiru, and the SWA. It was tough, but the coordinated efforts to "reverse" the pranks started taking shape. Her worst difficulty to date had been explaining to the parents that had subscribed to the "daycare" that the business was shutting down immediately, and that they would have to find a new facility right away. Of course, she returned their money back, but still, a lot of them were frantic because they had been counting on having their kids watched, and had already made plans. So, in the face of unhappy, hassled parents, she had to offer "alternative" baby-sitting, which made her a very busy girl for the next few days. It was sheer inspired luck that she managed to punk both Kiyone and Sentaro into helping her, claiming to them both that her dad loved children and had completely agreed with having the brats on the 13th for a few days. Knowing just how competitive the pair was with most things, she waited until they started fighting shortly after the announcement, trying to decide who was the best, most devoted babysitter; which thankfully gave Maya enough time to escape before they noticed she was gone, leaving them with the brats, so she could run around and take care of the rest of the stuff.

Momentarily free of the brats, she then focused on getting rid of the petting zoo, a joint effort with the SWA, who had helped her immensely when she had suggested they put one together to raise funds for one of their benefits. Fortunately, they managed to find a new place outside of Sereitei within a few days, where they could house most of the animals at a very low price, and still maintain the petting zoo open, at least until they figured out what to do with the animals permanently. The ostrich, however, had to be kept at Ugendo, since it was not a very friendly bird. So, now, she was saddled with a fidgety, angry Ostrich who chased her every single time he saw her coming towards the gardens, although the ostrich seemed pretty nice to the other people in the state, specially her dad, who had taken a liking to the weird, crotchety bird.

After convincing Yachiru to help her move the piranhas out, and back to the zoo in the real world where she "found" them, she had her work cut out for her in convincing the petite girl to help her transport not only the few Koi they had moved to Ugendo in the past week, but all the Koi she had stolen over the decades. Finally, after many failed threats to hide all the candy in Sereitei, some whining, and even a few tears, she managed to convince Yachiru, by explaining to the girl the fish had to be returned because there were so many Koi now in the Ugendo pond, they didn't have as much space to play as they used to, and were getting depressed. The fish's plight convinced her to move them back to Kuchiki Manor, which now sported a huge, empty pond that would be delightful for the fish to play in. However, she had to promise Yachiru she could still go Koi Hunting, as long as she balanced out the numbers between the two states, meaning she would always take the same amount of fish back to the Kuchiki Manor from Ugendo, whenever she chose to "gift" her dad with new fish, so that all the fish in Sereitei would be happy, and have plenty of space to swim in. That being done, it took them a whole night to finish the process, and she was exhausted by the time 7 a.m rolled around, and the last of the Koi were delivered to the Kuchiki Manor. Thinking to finish her last task for the day, and then heading back to the thirteenth, even though she hadn't slept all night, Maya made her way towards the 12th, where Nemu had been working on an antidote for the "pink virus" she had given Byakuya's room, which should be ready any time now.

Thankfully, Nemu was done by the time Maya arrived, and after having to listen to the easy instructions on how to apply it to the contaminated pink nightmare she had created, a very tired Maya made her way back towards the Kuchiki manor, knowing Byakuya wouldn't be a home by the time she arrived, since he usually showed up in his offices around 6:00 AM most days. She used the same tunnel path she had used the last time she had sneaked into his private quarters, the one closest to his bedroom. This time, however, she had come prepared to deal with his locked door with special "tools", which were a courtesy of Renji, who had grown up in Rugonkai, and was well acquainted with the seedier side of life.

She moved silently until she found his door, and then, after fiddling with her tools for a few minutes, managed to open the sliding doors, and enter his private domain, a horrid study in pink still, although she could see there had been fruitless attempts to get rid of the color in a few spots on the wall, which were probably abandoned after a few hours scrubbing and scrapping. Adding a new layer of paint had not helped either, as the pink bled through as soon as a new coat was laid, the "virus" Nemu had created for her infiltrating every single surface of the room. It had been the perfect touch, and utterly evil, and even though it would have faded within a few months, she was still glad that Nemu had managed to quickly whip up an antidote, since Maya felt the need to reinstate Byakuya's life back to normal as soon as possible. She was in the process of opening the little bottle, and spraying his bed, when suddenly, the bathroom door opened, surprising her, and making her drop the bottle on the floor, to clatter harmlessly on the pink hardwood floor beneath her feet.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, once she turned around and saw that no one other than an angry looking Byakuya stood in front of her, clad in only a silk black robe, probably fresh out of the shower, his hair still loose and wet on his shoulders, missing the _kenseikan_ which were usually in his hair whenever she saw him. It made him look...more human, and approachable, even though he looked angry enough to throttle her.

"Maya. Why are you here?" he said in a slow, cold voice, eyeing her up and down, and finally locating the little bottle by her feet, "What have you come to do now? Spray my bed with Skunk smell? Or perhaps that is a hallucinogenic?" he asked, his voice wary, and sounding tired at the same time, as if he had given up on keeping up with her antics.

"No. I-" she stuttered, quickly grabbing the little bottle by her feet, and hiding it behind her back, a futile gesture, "Why are you here? You're supposed to be at work, damnit!" she said, annoyed.

"I only have one set of uniforms which has not been turned pink. I'm waiting for it to come back from the laundry. Why are you here? Decided that ruining my bedroom, my home and my work are not enough?" he said with a little bit more heat this time, thankfully losing that defeated sound to his voice.

"No...I-," she continued in a shaky voice, afraid of the look in his eyes, and unsure how to explain to him that she had decided to put a stop to her childish games.

"WHAT?" he said in a deep, angry voice, coming closer to confront her, his eyes sparking in anger, a sure sign of just how angry and close to the edge he was, considering how unusually calm he was most of the time.

"I came to make it go back to normal!" she said in a rush, bringing the bottle back up to eye level to show him, scared of what he could do if he ever lost his temper completely, a sight she was sure no one in Sereitei had seen in over a century, and no one wanted to see, with the exception of perhaps Kenpachi, who loved a fight no matter how suicidal it was.

"I see. Why should I believe you?" he said more calmly now, although the angry spark was still present in his eyes,

"I swear!" she exclaimed, moving aside to show him his now back to normal bed, its grey covers a sure contrast to the rest of the puke-pink that surrounded him.

"Why, Maya? Why the change of heart? You've done nothing but try to make my life harder since this whole thing started. What happened to make you switch directions?" he asked suspiciously, giving her his frozen stare, which usually worked to make anyone who was presented with it spill the beans, his most effective interrogation technique. She was ashamed to admit it, but it worked on her too.

"Because I felt bad, okay! And that's that!" she said angrily, not wanting to admit her feelings, feeling exposed, her newly admitted feelings for him still too fresh to be confessed, still in need to be examined closer, once this whole thing was over. She passed him the bottle, raising one eyebrow in his direction, as if daring him to try it on his own. He did, spraying his sidewall without even looking, instead keeping an eye on her expression. Eventually, he looked at the wall, not showing any visible relief when he noticed the whole thing had turned back to its previous color. He turned back to stare at her, still looking suspicious, but at least believing that the spray did indeed reverse the effects of whatever it was she had done to his room.

"I see." he said slowly, trying to figure out if she was trying to lull him in into a false sense of relief, or whether she was truly sorry. He noticed her eyes were sparkling, as if she was holding back tears, and that she did look truly sorrowful, and honest, there being no smugness to her features. She was either genuinely sorry, or a really good actress.

Deciding she had enough, and that she had done her deed for the day, the now over-emotional, exhausted Maya decided to escape, unwilling to prolong the futile confrontation, now that she had provided him with the means to turn his home back to normal, as well as reversing everything else that she had done. She turned and started walking towards the door exit, when suddenly, his hand stopped her, grabbing her arm, and turning her around to confront him again. She gulped visibly, afraid now she wouldn't be able to get away, and that he still intended on making her pay for her crimes. Instead, she found confusion written on his face, as if he still couldn't understand, or comprehend what was going on. He keep looking at her face, examining her eyes for any sign of duplicity. She averted her eyes to the ground, unable to meet his slate eyes, in fear her own would betray her emotions, and the pent-up desire she felt for him that she still hadn't been able to get rid of. Finally he spoke, a whisper only, a genuinely concerned sound to his voice,

"Why?" he asked, bringing his face closer to hers, making her have to acknowledge his question. She looked up slowly, facing her fears, and ready for the scorn she would surely find in his eyes once he learned her shameful secret, knowing he wouldn't let her go unless she told him nothing but the truth.

"Because...I wasn't mad at you because you kissed me, okay? I was mad because you didn't mean it!" she told him, trying to contain the stupid tears that threatened to fall, waiting for him to laugh, or let go of her horrified, finally finding out why she had so shamelessly tortured him. He looked genuinely surprised instead, and robbed of speech. Deciding to try escaping again, she yanked her arm away, and made to move to the door. In an instant, he pulled her back, but instead of stopping to mock her, or perhaps even slap her for her arrogance... he took her lips, holding on to her head and neck as he kissed her passionately, completely surprising her, and melting the last of her defenses, taking the last little bit of fight out of her.

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><p><strong>Awww. Cute. So, finally, we got something to play with! Yeay ! As a warning to those out there who are faint of heart, and can't stand smexy...well, this little tale is going M very soon. You've been warned! And for those of you that just can't wait for it, don't worry, it won't be long now ! So, what did you think? Cute? Silly? I liked how the Ostrich made friends with Uki :) What did you guys think? Are you mad? Sad? Angry? Do you need a hug? Do you need a muffin? Do you need to re-watch Bleach, cause you're bored? Do you have any ideas, suggestions, or comments? Any compliments wink wink? Hummm...are you still unable to figure out why Joseey loves her trampoline so much? Answer me by leaving a review, and I guarantee good things will come to you. Xoxo, <strong>


	18. Temptation in the Pink Room

A/N : OH snap! This is where the story turns decidedly M. So, Kids... I've warned you. Protect your innocent eyes, and do not read this to the end. Or even the middle. Unless you are over the age of 18, and then, well I suppose you go for it, you naughty person, you! I hope you enjoy it. I know I did (fans herself). IF you are over the age of 18, but uncomfortable with touchy, feely stuff, I suggest you give this chappy a pass: suffice to say, they make out, there! Yay for reviews, btw ! :)

Disclaimer : Tite Kubo, I see your Bleach, and I raise you a Fairy Tail. Are you in, or what?

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><p><span>Temptation in the Pink Room<span>

It would seem that no matter what he'd tried, he couldn't get the menace off his back. He'd tried ignoring her for years when she was a cute kid who would pass by his office or home to beg for candy. He'd tried to not even acknowledge her existence back when she'd been a gangly, awkward teenager, who would look at him with moonstruck eyes, promising all kinds of eternal love, and devotion. He even stayed away, and remained aloof when she finally grew into a beautiful, spirited woman, sure of herself, and desired by many other men. But, ever since the day she showed up at his office, and asked him out on a date, he'd been unable to get her off his mind, and out of his life. It was like once that door had been opened in his mind, the possibility of having all of her kept wavering in and out of his subconscious, teasing him with glimpses of a future which he dared not imagine in his more lucid, practical moments, knowing that he had already played his luck in the love game, and lost once.

But despite his best intentions, he had let her had somehow work herself under his skin, and it didn't matter what he did to disabuse her, and himself of that notion, the moment they came in contact, it was like... he couldn't keep his hands off of her, no matter what his ever practical brain screamed, telling him to run, and walk away. And so, after kissing her twice, once during that fateful ball, and then again by his pond, he'd taken measures to somehow repudiate her immediately after, offering a sane explanation for the insane desire that he had to kiss her every time she came close to him, taunting him with her proximity, and her antics, forcing him to act just as immaturely and impulsively as her. He had claimed then to be merely testing a hypothesis, that first time around, and almost managed to convince himself that he had only kissed her to shut her up, although that had not been the reason why he kissed her, deep down he knew. The second time around, he had found himself so angry, and aroused by her, he had been kissing her before he even knew what he was doing, all the anger he had felt being somehow transformed into a serious case of ill-concealed lust. Of course, by the time he realized what he was doing, he had freaked out, and thrown her into the pond. Fitting, considering she had done the same to him the night before, but still, his reasons had been nothing but instinct, instead of an act of premeditated punishment, as she had probably seen it.

The worst of it came when she had jumped him in his office, and attacked him with a kiss so carnal, it had made him forget himself completely, responding to her with the same intensity she assaulted him. He should have then put a stop to it, but like a fool, he let himself get coached into giving her exactly what she had wanted, which was for him to betray himself. He'd been so angry with himself then, that he had kicked her out of his office, afraid of what he would do to her if she stayed another minute sitting in his lap, accusing him with those beautiful, fiery green eyes. Probably he would have had her on his desk, much to his shame.

When she launched her full scale war on him, he had almost been relieved, although he had felt strangely hurt that she was willing to go to such lengths to unsettle him. However, people's scorn, their pettiness, and sometimes outright duplicity was something he was long used to, and he figured he could deal with that facet of Maya a lot easier than he had dealt with the sweet, caring side that had defended him, and seen him as a person, and not just his title and position. He had even decided to not attack back, content to let the storm pass, and let her cool her head, eventually moving on to greener pastures, hopefully finding some other poor guy to torture. But no, he hadn't even been that lucky. Somehow, the menace had found her heart, and decided to cease fire, even going as far as looking remorseful for what she had done. When he was confronted with the sorrow, and the honesty in those eyes, he had wanted to understand why, and somehow...even comfort her, make her happy again. It had upset him to see her so... scared, scared of him, and so very nervous. She had always been one of the few people that had never really acted differently towards him because of his station, and although he always made a point to correct her, he had secretly relished the easy, care-free manner she addressed him, finding some solace in her lack of pretense, and her informal speech.

But he had really lost it when she told him she had wanted his affection... that this beautiful, captivating, innocently crazy female had wanted him as much as he had wanted her-,it seemed almost impossible, that somehow, she saw him for who he was, and yet...she desired him. And faced with that simple statement, those painfully uttered words, he had once again lost his composure. He had grabbed her and pulled her against him, wanting to kiss her so very desperately, and feel in her kiss what she had said with her eyes. And so he kissed her, and then kissed her some more, content in having her in his arms, to satisfy the need he had to be closer to her, and amazingly, she eagerly kissed him back, her usual vivaciousness, and her zest for life apparent in every bold stroke of her tongue, in her delighted moans, and sharp intakes of breath, as if she was melting and bursting in his arms all at once, not trying in the least to conceal her response to him.

He tried to muster enough resistance to pull away from her, but every time he tried to slowly, reluctantly leave her lips, she pulled at him, and became the aggressor, sending him into another frenzy of need, her open, sensual response too much for him to resist. In time, her hands found their way up his neck to caress his loose hair, working her fingers through his scalp, the simple, yet intimate touch making him shiver, so unused he was to someone touching him in such way. Unable to contain his pleasure, he groaned and pulled her even closer, kissing her deeper while bringing her body flush against his. She took his response as encouragement, and soon, her curious hands traveled down his neck, and towards the open vee of his robe, to caress his chest, her delicate, smooth hands finding his hardened muscles and stroking them, delighting in what she found, her fingers working their way inside his kimono, to embrace his naked torso, and eventually even lightly scrape his bare back, and feel his taut abdomen. He tried to keep his own hands off of her, enjoying her touch, but too afraid to offend, or scare her, to actually explore her body the way she was enjoying exploring his. He knew that if he went down that path, he wouldn't be able to hold back, and even though there was nothing he wanted more than to consume this woman, and worship her with his body...a small, tiny part of him tried to be gentlemanly, and not rush her into anything she would come to regret. So he kept his hands moving as little as possible, only moving to hold her against him, or lightly caress her back, or touch her silky hair, but refraining from touching her in all the places he really wanted to, knowing that as it was, he was already pushing his luck, fearing with every second that passed, that she would come to her senses and push him away.

She did eventually let his lips go, sighing reluctantly. She then opened her dreamy, dazed eyes, looking at him with such fire, and passion, it almost made him go right back to kissing her. Holding on to the last of his self-control, he merely stared back, almost afraid of what would come out of her mouth. Once again, however, she surprised him, doing the most unexpected, Maya-like thing: with one hand, she untied his robe, and with the other, she pulled at her own Kimono, opening the black material to expose an almost transparent camisole under it, with clung to her compact, sensual body like a glove. Without any shame, she looked at his now completely exposed body, all the way from his face, to his feet, stopping in between to give certain parts extra attention. The raw want in her gaze made him gulp audibly, and a very interested body part twitched with the attention, eager to play. He kept his stance, almost paralyzed at the spot, waiting for her, and an indication...

"Byakuya...please-" she said in a sensual whisper, gazing at him with those passionate, jade green eyes of hers, "-Make love to me..." she asked, bringing one hand to his chest again, and trailing it down until she met his hard erection.

It was all the indication he needed. Without further ado, he lifted her in his arms, and laid her on his bed, ready to give her anything she asked of him, as long as she let him keep touching her, and loving her with his body.

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><p><strong>Oh, darnit. Just as it was getting good too. I'm a big meanie, na na na na. What did you guys think? You like? Hum, hum? Are you blushing with my perverted writing? Or is it really not smexy enough? Any requests? Did it flow okay, or was there any awkwardness? Did you like Byakuya's POV? Gimme something, people. Or else...I actually don't have a good threat, but you think of one, and then... yeah I'll do that! Till then, xoxo<strong>


	19. Need

Author's Note: Okay, I'm sooo so so SO Sorry. I got caught up with adjusting in this wild heat. And I've been working. My fingers were tired of typing. So, I apologize. I'll try to be faster. SORRY! please, please forgive me?I missed writing, but I've been mad busy, and uninspired! Oh, and if you're 18, or uncomfortable with s-e-x scenes...please skip this chappy. It's pure, shameless smutty smutt. YOu've been warned. All of you fans of smexy out there, put your hands up, then down again to review this chappy. Love y'alls.

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

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><p><span>Need<span>

They continued exchanging kisses and caresses, and yet, Byakuya seemed oddly reluctant to further their lovemaking; Maya could sense his indecision, his unwillingness to take the reins, and ravish her in full, even though she had already made it more than obvious that she was completely willing to be ravished. In fact, she had right out asked him to do so. And yet, he hesitated, and it drove her insane, because she wanted him so badly, she ached. So, taking the advice she had heard some of the squad women share with one another, she took matters into her own hands, and initiated things. If he wouldn't touch her the way she wanted to be touched of his own accord, she would ensure he did so, even if she had to cajole him into doing it. She started by removing her own clothes, since he seemed in no hurry to help her along. Sitting up momentarily on the bed, she slipped off the already open kimono top, and then the camisole she usually wore under it, revealing her bare chest, wanting all of her skin to be exposed to his touch. And it worked, she was glad to notice. His beautiful slate eyes darkened to smoky gray at the sight of her breasts, and one slightly shaking hand made its way towards her to lightly grasp one eager breast, as if weighing it in his palm, measuring the shape and feel of it, slightly squeezing it, making her nipples tighten and contract at his touch. She watched him while he watched his hand move around her breast, and the warm, tingling feeling that had been building ever since he kissed her started becoming a burn, a need deep inside her that she felt only he could extinguish. She moaned lightly, enjoying his touch, her eyes fluttering and closing, even though she wanted to keep watching him. In the next few seconds, she felt his head come closer to her chest, and then, she felt his lips meet the hardened nipple that he had been lightly pinching. Unconsciously, both her hands flew up to hold his head against her chest, not wanting the sensations he was eliciting in her to stop. She held him tightly, and he suckled on her left breast while his other hand caressed the right.

As he continued to caress her with his hands and mouth, she intertwined her hands in his hair, playing with the silky locks, loving the texture of his hair, how soft and smooth the strands were, and how they slid between her fingers. Never in a million years could she have imagined just how utterly fascinating and sexual his hair could be, and how unlike the usual forbidding style, with the _kenseikan_ making him look even more aloof and untouchable. She was utterly fascinated with this side of him, how human and vulnerable and...carnal he looked, with his head between her breasts, his hair in sensual disarray, his long silk robe open at the sides to display smooth, soft skin that covered corded muscles, not a single inch of fat in his lean, hard body. Loving the feel of the exposed skin of his chest against hers, she undulated against him, wanting to press herself even further against him, needing to further the contact between them. When she arched, he groaned, as if in pain, his body becoming rigid, tightening and pressing his hips against her. She gasped, worried she had somehow hurt him.

"Byakuya...are you okay? Did I hurt you?" she whispered worriedly, pulling his hair lightly so that he would look at her. Instead of answering, he gave her the hottest look she had ever seen in a man's eye, and took her mouth in a tortuously sexual kiss , sweeping her along a vortex of need, making her want so much more, the burn she felt before increasing to an inferno of need. He shifted against her, bringing his hips to lie between her legs, and rub provocatively against where she needed him the most. Eventually his lips left hers, to trail down her throat, scattering hot, lingering kisses against her sensitive neck, lightly biting and suckling on the sensitive skin, making her moan and arch into him. She wanted to give him as much pleasure as he was giving her, but she was afraid she didn't know how, considering she had never done any more than kiss a few other guys, and even those had been quick, boring pecks that had barely managed to get her interested enough to try kissing again. Until Byakuya, that is. The way his lips felt against hers, and against her fevered skin, made her never want to stop the exquisite torture, even though it felt as if she was about to explode with need. She brought her hands from his head to pull at the open robe, wanting the odious silky material off so that she could properly explore all of him, all that muscle and sinew that remained partially hidden from her touch. He momentarily lifted himself off of her, helping her remove the annoying garment, throwing it carelessly on the floor. She sighed happily, the sight of him gloriously naked on top of her so very beautiful, she couldn't contain the shivers that worked down her body.

Her hands made their way down his chest, and around to his corded back, loving the contrast of hardened muscle under soft skin, his body so much unlike her own, and yet so very beautiful. She leisurely worked her hands down his back and to his buttocks, bold in her exploration of him. He arched into her, groaning lightly, as if trying to contain himself. She wondered briefly whether she was hurting him, but he looked happy, even if a little in pain, so she figured he was liking it: whatever it was that she was doing, she was apparently doing it right, because he became even harder against her still clothed hips, his massive erection twitching against her, as if seeking her touch. Curious, she continued her exploration of him, her fingers trailing towards his formidably defined stomach, feeling each individual ridge in there, as he twitched against her still, biting his lower lip in an effort to contain hands that held her hips tightly against him, unconsciously rocking her against him. Feeling empowered and bold by his response to her touch, she finally worked up the courage to feel his manhood against her hand again, this time taking the time to explore it properly, like he had with her breasts, rubbing her palms lightly against his scrotum, then gripping him lightly, working her hand up and down his length, trying to understand the curious appendage, which she had only briefly seen before once, back when she had spied on some of the squad members hitting the showers back in her teens, curious to understand the obvious differences between female and male anatomy. Back then, peeking through the tiny little hole she made on the wall, those floppy things had looked smaller than his, and incredibly funny. She had giggled, thinking how men had no luck with their parts, having to drag around those ugly, odd things between their legs. Now however, she felt as if she began to understand the mystery that was sexual relations: his thing was anything but floppy, and it felt so very hot and silky smooth in her hands, it made her want to keep caressing it, loving the feel of it in her hands. It was so hard, like steel, and yet, velvety and hot. It also leaked slightly, she noted, a dewy drop coming out of the little hole on the head to glisten temptingly. She wondered how it felt, and innocently, she brought her finger against it, rubbing it against the head, fascinated by how slick it felt against her fingertips.

Byakuya, on the other hand, could barely contain the urge to bury himself inside her. However, he held on to the last of his self-control, enjoying the sweet torture she was inflicting on him, her curious, untried touches making him harder than he had ever been, even at the hands of skilled courtesans, before he ever had met and married Hisana, in those days he had been a horny young man who had delighted in getting a proper sexual education. What she was doing to him, she never even knew, innocent in her wonder, her sweet exploration of his body almost making him come against her. When she rubbed his head, and started spreading that drop against his eager shaft, he lost the last grasp he had on his sanity, wanting, needing to touch her as intimately as she was touching him. Spreading her legs apart, he touched her where he wanted to be buried, stroking her wet core, happily noting she was ready for him. Unable to contain himself, specially when she started moaning and panting, he pulled the lose black pants off her body together with the scrap of lace she wore under it, and threw them down on the floor, leaving her gloriously naked against his own bare skin. He tried to prolong the inevitable, and ready her, but as he felt her quake and tighten around his fingers, he couldn't think of anything past being inside her. Careful not to hurt her, he removed his fingers from her tender entrance, and replaced it with the part of him that was weeping to be inside her. Slowly he started entering her core. She pulled him closer, grabbing his ass, mindless in her want, needing completion. He couldn't deny her. In one swift stroke, he entered her, almost coming at the exquisite sensation of her.

She stiffened, the brief pain making her twitch and tighten, but then she relaxed, noting it was over before it even began, and all that remained was the weird, slightly uncomfortable feel of being stretched. He stood still, waiting for her to adjust to his length, until he felt her muscles relax. Only then he started moving slowly against her, while ensuring he was not hurting her, noticing her every reaction. Eventually she started moving against him, finding her pleasure again, and it was all he needed. He moved against her seductively, until she was moaning and groaning again, and finally, exploding with need, quaking and shaking under him. Lasting all he could, he let himself find his pleasure as well, and together, they soared, finding that indescribable, inexplicable climax in each other's arms.

There was much that needed to be resolved, but that could wait. For now, he had her in his arms, and he was happy. Rolling so that his weight was not crushing her smaller frame, he brought her against him, and let his eyes drift close, enjoying the feeling of her skin against his. With one last lingering kiss against the crown of her head, he drifted off to sleep.

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><p><strong><em>So, That's all I could come up with. Very much Smexy smex.! If you're under the age of 18, well, you shouldn't have read this, but hey, I warned ya. All of you fans of smex, let me know how this was. I'm gonna need to encouragement since I've been suffering from writer's block for 2 wks now !<em>**


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